#^ one of the things is that i think the use of the giant fucking set--even if it's a symptom of taking everything too seriously--

[caprisunisgud]

Oh boy, this is gonna take a while *big breath™*

Andúril replica I bought at a ren faire

6'2, I think the extra two inches are all I need

Dirty blonde/light brown (maybe?)

Don't think I have any

Yes

No

Good question

Being a massive shut-in with real people

Touches 🥰

Very often

Yes

German

Scotland

I once almost lost my right leg

Two days ago, but I'm gonna shower before bed tonight

A couple months ago, I think?

No

It was this weird one where everything was 2.5D and had og Doom graphics, but all the enemies were zombies and there was this one big, cyborg skull thing that was a boss

Author

Picnic lunch under a shady tree. After lunch, he takes me home and we cuddle under a blanket and do whatever till dinner

Draw, comfort people, find motivation

Scotland

Don't really know what that means

Not really, not something that hasn't happened to everyone

Chrismas, people give me money

Don't remember

I once made a dinosaur out of cardboard boxes

Probably drawing maps, out of everything

Not very well, but yes

Yes, six of them

Do I die honorably

Nipple piercings, they're just, 🤮

It's summer rn, but I really liked my Independent Research teacher. He was an actual, professional medievalist

0

Every other day, any more and it gets super gross and greasy

Fairly often, usually about ocs or fantasies of mine

My room. No windows

My dad, he has a lot less counts of being immature and petty than my mom

Loyalty. I always stay loyal to a fault when I comes to genuine things, but if you break it, I'm not delusional, I won't come back

My oldest brother's, he's very good at explaining things

"The river has fish somewhere"

Cuddle with someone

Ghosted one of the best paras I had back in school for no good reason

Yes

No

Autumn

The twilight before sunrise, even though I'm rarely ever awake at that time

Not really

When confronting someone about their shitty behavior

Don't have any regrets in terms of purchaces

Yes

I dunno, The Hobbit?

This one bitch >:( he groped me in a stairwell in 8th grade, I then kicked him down said stairs and told the SRO to keep him away from me

Sonadow is overrated

Dark Souls remastered, at the moment

This one time I hallucinated the sound of someone walking upstairs when noone was there

No

... no

Very different, and I'm happy about that

Very much so :)

No

Don't have one, tbh

Yes

"Oh, uh, thanks, but why?" Irl, and "I could never contend with you ;)" here on Tumblr

Someone (probably a friend) crying for me. That may sound weird, but like, seeing me in such terrible distress distresses them? It's hard to explain

Yes

Not genuinely, no

I already answered this 🤨

No

Metonic/Sonetal

Can't say, I love a lot of songs

FUCK no

Maybe? Probably when I younger

Sleep? What's that?

No

No 😔

Three, two cats one dog

Hazel

How fucking nasty and hairy I am. I wanna get rid of all this shit but I don't have one of those thingies people use

No

Giant pandas

Flirting irl

No

Spangle's

Yes

11th

No

Literally only Tumblr

I ended last year with a low D in math

About 5:00... pm

Thankfully no

Most of them

This one red and black shirt I have

FUCK YEAH, DINOSAURS

I hate having so much of it, it feels gross as fuck >:( On other people I'm generally neutral, but down under? 🤮

I dunno

Nah

No

When I was younger and my parents forced me (I've never liked it)

Yes, quite

ask game

1. whats your favorite thing in your room?

2. how tall do you wish you were?

3. what color is your hair?

4. whats a rare fear that you have?

5. are you single?

6. has your heart ever been broken?

7. what was your favorite thing as a kid?

8. favorite coping mechanism?

9. whats your favorite love language?

10. how often do you get nervous?

11. if you had three wishes, would you use them?

12. if you could be fluent in any language which one would it be?

13. where do you wish to live?

14. what’s something surprising about you?

15. when did you last shower?

16. when did you first join tumblr?

17. do you want any tattoos? if so, where, what, and why?

18. whats the most prominent dream youve had?

19. whats your dream job?

20. whats your ideal date?

21. what do you wish you could do better?

22. what country would you live in if you could?

23. whos the best person you know?

24. have you ever walked into something you shouldnt have?

25. whats your favorite holiday?

26. when have you been most embarrassed?

27. whats your favorite halloween costume?

28. what are you best at?

29. do you know how to tie your shoes?

30. do you have siblings?

31. if you could know one thing about the future what do you wanna know?

32. whats a dealbreaker for you?

33. whats your favorite current class?

34. how many people have you dated?

35. how often do you wash your hair?

36. do you daydream? what about?

37. where do you go to be alone?

38. which parent do you like more?

39. whats the one standard you hold yourself to?

40. whos voice do you enjoy?

41. if you could announce one thing to the world what would it be?

42. whats one thing you wanna do but havent yet?

43. what do you wish you never did?

44. do you believe in life after death?

45. do you prefer book over movie?

46. whats your favorite season?

47. whats your favorite time of day

48. do you have a beloved stuffed animal?

49. whens a time you wish you acted differently?

50. what’s something you wish that you never bought?

51. do you have your own room?

52. whats your favorite book?

53. who’s someone you hate?

54. whats your best hottake?

55. whats your favorite game?

56. whens a time you felt real genuine fear?

57. are you a morning person?

58. do you drink enough water?

59. how different are you from the little kid you used to be?

60. do you enjoy tumblr?

61. have you ever had a tumblr experience that made you wanna delete the app?

62. whats your least favorite game?

63. were you a markiplier fan?

64. how do you respond to compliments?

65. whats something that would make you fall in love?

66. do you believe in marriage?

67. do you have a crush on someone?

68. do you like tumblr?

69. were you a voltron stan?

70. whats your favorite ship?

71. whats your favorite song?

72. do you like loud crowds?

73. have you ever created conflict on purpose?

74. how do you sleep?

75. do you bite your lips?

76. do you use chapstick?

77. do you have any pets?

78. what color are your eyes?

79. what’s something you wish you could change about yourself?

80. have you ever had surgery?

81. whats your least favorite animal?

82. whats something that youre really bad at?

83. do you have an sqishmellows?

84. do you enjoy fast food?

85. do you like soda?

86. what grade are you in?

87. do you wear any jewelry?

88. what socials do you use?

89. whats your lowest grade in school right now?

90. whats the latest youve stayed up till?

91. did you ever have bangs?

92. what trends did you hate?

93. whats your favorite item of clothing?

94. do you like dinosaurs?

95. whats your opinion on body hair?

96. whats your least favorite time?

97. do you make a wish at 11:11?

98. do you have your phone on military or regular?

99. have you ever been to church?

100. are you lgbtq?

[corrcdedcoffin]

──*ೃ༄ bad idea

jj maybank x fem!reader

enemies to lovers trope

request: no

summary: you and jj can’t stand each other, even more so when your friends suggest you’re secretly in love. little did either of you know that the simple suggestion would change everything for both you, leading to one of the best worst nights.

warnings: 18+, mentions of alcohol + intoxication, smut, oral (m+f), p in v, light choking, hair pulling, mentions of jealousy, john b is referred to as a slut lol. slight angst at the end i guess?? i think that’s all lmk if i missed anything

although my posts are 18+, y’all probably don’t listen. you are responsible for the media you consume.

if there's one thing you could  count on jj maybank for, it was to be infuriating. it was like his sole purpose here on earth was to irritate the shit out of you. 

it started with the hammock. you'd gotten up and walked to the cooler that was literally five feet away from you, and grabbed a beer. when you turned around, he was in your spot and refused to move, claiming he had 'seniority'.

then it was his incessant interrupting, not just to you but to everyone. not only was it was annoying, but you found it rude. you'd gone into the house to get away before you started a fight with him. everyone was used to jj interrupting, knowing he never had the patience to wait his turn, or he'd forget what he had to say if he didn't get it out immediately. but you didn't care, not today, not ever.

you were lucky enough to get fifteen minutes of peace before he made his way inside, claiming he was only there for the bathroom and he didn't want to talk to you, only for him to linger inside on his way out. he stopped in the kitchen, picking up a pen and doodling on a receipt while whistling, loudly.

then he began clicking the pen non-stop.

releasing a deep breath through your nose, you tried to ignore it, repeating let it go to yourself like a mantra. it worked until he started whistling again.

"holy fuck, go outside!" you snapped.

jj's eyebrows raised in shock before a mischievous twinkle took place in his eyes. "yeah, i think you should. you're really bringing down my vibe, princess."

you scoffed, not bothering to look at him as you continued scrolling through your phone. you were disturbed when the pen jj was previously holding was tossed your way, hitting you in the chest and conveniently blowing up; leaving a long blue line and a giant blob of ink across your shirt.

he felt bad for a moment, he really did. up until you stood from the couch and threw the pen back at him ten times harder, followed by a pillow before stomping down the hall to john b's room while cursing his existence.

you hoped sarah had an extra shirt somewhere, but there was none. sighing, you grabbed a shirt from the dresser and quickly changed, using your ruined shirt to wipe the remaining ink off your skin. pissed was an understatement — that was one of your favourite shirts.

the shirt you grabbed was like a dress on you, and had a few stains. you tied it up and walked back out, scowling at jj as you walked past him. jj couldn't help the smile on his face.

"what?"

"nothing" he shrugged, still smiling.

"fucking freak" you muttered. he heard you, not like you were trying to be quiet, but he laughed, making you turn to him again; an exasperated look on your face asking for an explanation.

"it's just-" he chuckled, "that's my shirt."

you rolled your eyes and flipped him off before going back outside, making sure to let the door slam. it caught everyone's attention. they watched as you practically stomped back to the hammock in your fit of rage, afraid to ask what happened with the two of you alone in the house. john b even more so when he noticed you in jj's shirt.

"what hap—"

"don't" you said, holding a hand up to stop him.

there was an impromptu party at the boneyard that night. you'd stopped at home and grabbed different clothes and some makeup before going to sarah's to get ready with her and kiara. when you'd walked into her room, you caught them talking about you and jj.

"but seriously, is there something going on?" kiara asked straight up.

"yeah, y'all got some weird tension" sarah added.

you looked at them in disbelief. "are you kidding me right now? i hate the guy" you rolled your eyes, but they didn't buy it.

"come on!" sarah scoffed, "you guys are constantly 'fighting' and making each other mad, it's like you're 10 and on the playground trying to get your crush's attention."

"is not!"

"is too!" kiara laughed. "you guys are so ridiculous, it's actually really cute."

you couldn't believe them. there was no way they thought you and jj had a thing, or that you'd actually be into it. you could never. you despised him far too much, no matter how charming he could be.

"right! and then you came out in his shirt earlier, and john b was so convinced you'd hooked up—"

"okay, stop! nothing happened. nothing will ever happen, alright?"

they were silent for a moment before kiara asked, "so, then why were you in his shirt?"

you sighed in frustration for what felt like the hundredth time that day. "he threw a pen at me and it exploded. i still have a stain on my chest, look" you said, pulling your shirt down to show them. they didn’t see anything.

"besides," you added, "he's loud, obnoxious, plays with his hair way too much, and not to mention he's just flat out annoying."

they left you alone after that, but not before muttering that you'd be a cute couple. you rolled your eyes before moving to the mirror to get ready.

jj, pope, and john b had all stayed back at the chateau and ordered a pizza while waiting for you all, a similar conversation taking place.

"what if you just talk to her?" pope suggested.

"no. i don't wanna talk to her" jj shook his head, waving a hand in dismissal as he took a bite.

"riiight," pope dragged out, "that's why you follow her around everywhere and make it your life's mission to annoy her."

john b chuckled at that, earning a glare from jj. "i do not!"

"dude, you so do. it's very obvious" john b told him.

"no, i don't. she has no chill whatsoever, always worried about what she looks like, freaks out whenever there's the slightest mess, and she has a horrible sense of humour."

"wouldn't matter anyway" he added after a moment.

"why?"

"no pogue on pogue macking, duh!"

the pair rolled their eyes at the blond, ignoring his protests about having feelings for you. "since when do you follow the rules?" john b teased, earning a laugh from pope.

but jj just sat there, half eaten slice of pizza in hand as he thought about you differently. for a brief moment, he actually considered he might have underlying feelings for you. until they started laughing again.

there was no way. never in a million years would he have a crush on you.

the boneyard was packed when you'd got there. the plan was to meet the boys by the big fire, so that's where you all went from there hop. they were pretty easy to find, you just looked for the sluttiest dressed man (john b) and it was always who you needed.

jj's mind was still reeling over the idea of having a crush on you. it had been a solid three hours since the conversation, but he hasn't been able to drop it. even more so after seeing you now.

your hair was done, but it still held that slightly messy look you always had, and it looked good. you were wearing a nice shirt, and your belly ring was sparkling in the firelight. he noticed the rest of your body had a little shimmer to it as well; your stomach, arms and legs. for a brief moment, he wondered what the lotion smelled like, how soft it made your skin, and what it’d feel like beneath his fingertips.

so, he avoided you.

normally he would've tried a handful of ways to irritate you, but since he was under such scrutiny today, he left you alone. you were grateful.

you didn't want to speak to him either, especially after what sarah and kie had said. you were still shocked they'd even suggest that, and honestly a little bit offended.

after a couple of drinks you'd gone with kie to play beer pong. you played against some boys you knew from school, jared and tyler, who were flirting up a storm with you and kiara. after winning two games against them, they made you switch partners to make it more 'fair'. you and kiara had playfully rolled your eyes, muttering something about 'it's okay to lose to a girl' before discussing if you wanted to switch. neither of you minded, so you agreed to play two more games before finishing.

jared had partnered with you. it was fine for a few minutes; he was a poor beer pong player but he had enthusiasm, so you could ignore it. and, he was pretty cute. a little dumb, sure, but cute.

you smoked your opponents easily, teasing kiara for losing her A game after switching partners. "you know it's all about the chemistry for me" she flirted with you, while fully intending it as a jab to her partner.

you grabbed her face, a flirty "oh baby" leaving your lips as you pretended to kiss her.

turning around to see if you could spot your friends, you locked eyes with jj, who was already looking at you. he looked away, quickly busying himself with whoever was next to him. you and kiara linked arms and skipped back towards the fire, jared and tyler hurrying after you.

jj couldn't help but notice how jared seemed to be glued to your side, and he couldn't help but be angry about it. why? he had no idea.

he actually liked jared. he was decent, funny, and a good skater, but he also had a reputation when it came to girls— one much worse than his own. and yeah, maybe he didn't like you all that much, but he knew you, and he knew you deserved better than some player.

you could feel him watching you. every time you looked at him, you'd glare, but it didn't deter him. not even when he had a pretty girl practically begging for him to take her home for the night.

the sight made you feel uneasy. she was touching every part of him she could, laughing too loud at things he said, and tried multiple times to kiss him — which he dodged in favour of keeping his eyes on you. eventually, you couldn't stand it anymore.

you walked over to him, ignoring the girl hanging off of him, "what?"

"what do you mean, 'what?'"

"you know exactly what i mean! why the fuck have you been staring at me all night?"

jj scoffed, "i havent been—"

"is it cause i didn't bring your shirt back? or cause you're feeling bad about ruining mine?"

the girls eyes went wide at that, completely misreading the situation and walking away, mumbling an "oh my god".

"great!" jj groaned, "way to ruin my fun for tonight!"

"oh yeah, cause you were so focused on giving her your undivided attention!"

his breathing got heavier as he got more annoyed with you, taking a step closer. "i was doing just fine until you showed up, thank you very much."

"yeah, clearly. you looked like you were having so much fun with some random girl copping a feel while you stared me down."

"careful, sweetheart, you're starting to sound jealous" he smirked. deep down, part of him hoped you were.

you scoffed and rolled your eyes, a crazed look taking over. "you've been getting on my nerves all. fucking. day, jj. you steal my spot, you follow me around, you pester me, you ruined my favourite fucking shirt — and you don't even care! you never have! you're so fucking infuriating—"

"and you're turned on, aren't you?" he spoke so quietly you almost missed it, but he adored the way you froze.

"i-what? are you fucking kidding me right now?" you couldn't believe him. was he actually convinced he had some sort of effect on you and your hormones?

he was silent for a moment, staring at you once again, but this time it was different. there was something akin to hunger in his eyes, and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t make you feel some type of way.

"do i look like im kidding?" he asked, taking another small step closer, glancing at your lips.

you took a step back, shaking your head and chuckling in disbelief. "whatever," you muttered before turning around and leaving, flipping him off.

the pounding in your chest was hard to ignore.

neither of you had any idea your friends were watching you the whole time. you passed by pope and told him you were going home, and you didn't give him a second to ask why before walking away. not like he needed to ask.

they all watched jj watching you leave, rolling their eyes at his idiocy and yours. it didn't take long for him to go after you, surprisingly. maybe it was the interrogation from earlier, or maybe it was the alcohol, but he knew this was a chance that he couldn’t quite give up.

he was grateful you lived somewhat close, but man, did you run home? because he couldn't see you and he knew he didn't wait that long before coming after you. he didn't really have a plan for when he got to your apartment, it was unlikely you'd buzz him in.

luckily for him, he caught you at the front door.

sprinting across the street, he caught the door just before it slammed shut and yanked it open. he ran up the stairs two at a time, and when he got to the top you were already halfway through your door.

he called out to you, running down the hall and pushing his way in after you.

"are you fucking kidding me? what the hell do you want now?"

"would you just shut the fuck up for a minute?" jj pleaded, slightly out of breath.

"absolutely not! literally what the hell do you want from me!? you've been grinding my gears all day and night, and even when i leave because you're so infuriating, you follow me home. you're so fucking—"

he couldn't help it. you wouldn't let him speak, and he didn't know how else to shut you up other than to kiss you. maybe it was because deep down he had feelings for you, or maybe it was because he was buzzed from the party. either way, it worked.

it was rough and a little sloppy at first, but it didn't take longer than a few seconds to fall into a rhythm with one another.

you couldn't believe what was happening, nor could you believe you actually liked it. he was a great kisser, you'd give him that. you gasped when he picked you up and spun you around, shutting your apartment door and pinning you against it. he didn't break the kiss for a single second.

his hand trailed up from your hip and stopped at your side just under your boob, and he gave a squeeze. it was dizzying.

snapping out of it, you pushed him off and wiped at your mouth. "what the fuck?" you scowled at him, but it didn't faze him. he knew you liked it just as much as he did, he could feel it in how you kissed him back. you were just more stubborn.

"you wouldn't let me talk" he spoke breathlessly. his chest was still heaving, and you couldn't take your eyes away from the thin layer of sweat that clung to his neck and collarbone from the thick summer heat.

you pressed yourself against the door in attempt to keep space between you, but still it felt too close. it was like some invisible force was pulling you to him, and resisting wasn't going to do you any good.

he took a step closer, back to where he was before you shoved him, and he stared down at you. his eyes were dark and heavy, and you lifted a hand to try and push him back once again, but he caught your wrist. he didn't miss the way you swallowed hard.

"i never really noticed it before, but you're hot when you're angry" his voice was barely above a whisper, "maybe that's why i love to piss you off so much."

the affect he currently had on you was unlike anything you'd ever experienced before. never had you kissed someone you hated that much, and like it. a lot.

you started to bitch at him again, this time slightly more quiet, but he wasn't having it. "yell at me again, and i'll give you a real reason to scream."

perhaps you were possessed. it was the only logical explanation as to why you pulled him in and kissed him, again. it was hot and heavy, and it felt so good.

his hands ran up and down your body, rubbing and squeezing wherever he could, as if he was committing the feel of you to memory. your hands moved across his chest and up, one tangled in his hair and the other gripping his shirt tight. without breaking the kiss, you gently pushed forward before pulling him to your room.

yeah, you must've been possessed.

you sat him down on your bed and climbed on his lap, his hands immediately cupping your ass, fingers nearly touching your cunt. it was pathetic how wet you were already, you didn't need him to tease you for it.

scooting your hips forward, you rolled them over the tent that was prominently sticking up in his pants, eliciting a strained moan from him. it only encouraged you to do it again, and again.

his hands moved up under your shirt, lifting it over your head and tossing it across the room. he was very pleased to see you weren't wearing a bra, even though he already knew you hardly ever wore one.

"say you want me to stop, and i will" he spoke between kisses.

"no" you whispered, "do you want to?"

"god, no" he shook his head before brining his lips to yours once more.

he kissed along your jaw, down your neck to your collarbone. you lightly scratched up and down his back, pulling his shirt up for him to take off. he had no idea your touch would feel this good. he never wanted it to end.

you pushed him down on your bed, climbing on top of him and returning the kisses, trailing down his chest and stomach before undoing his pants and pulling them down. his cock sprang up, and you couldn't help but go wide eyed.

never in a million years did you ever think you'd be getting frisky with jj maybank, and never would you have ever thought that he'd be so fucking hung.

he was long and thick, and the sight made your mouth water and pussy flutter. you didn't waste any time before licking a thick stripe from base to tip, swirling your tongue around before wrapping your lips around him and lightly sucking the tip. the moan he let out was hypnotizing.

jj sat up slightly to watch you take him, and when you locked eyes as you took him all in your mouth, all the way to the base, he almost came right then and there. you used your hand as you came back up, moving in rhythm with your mouth.

"holy fuck" he muttered, pulling your hair away from your face and holding it tight in his hands as you bobbed up and down, your hand twisting around him and squeezing just right.

he nearly lost it when you massaged his balls, and he had to pull away. you smirked devilishly at him, but it was quickly replaced with a gasp as he lifted you up and threw you down on the bed, ready to return the favour.

first, he massaged and licked at your breasts, then trailed down your stomach while teasing at your panty line beneath your shorts with a single finger. he could feel the heat radiating off of you, and being the nice guy he is, he removed your shorts to provide some relief.

once they were off, he trailed kisses up from your ankle, all the way to your clothed clit. he could see how wet you were through your panties, rubbing at the wet patch teasingly before licking you. it was almost painful the way you could just barely feel him through your underwear. you whined and squirmed beneath him, and it made something click in his brain.

"what is it, princess?"

you could hear the mocking tone in his voice, and you knew he was smirking, enjoying the effect he currently had on you. "use your words" he encouraged.

"please" you choked out, not daring to look at him.

"please what?" he asked.

you let out a breath that was something between pleasure and exasperation, "touch me, please."

"as you wish," he smiled before hooking a finger under your panties and rubbing up and down your slit ever so slowly. he circled at your entrance a few times, pushing in slightly before moving up to give some much needed attention to your clit.

moving your underwear to the side, he pulled you closer to his face and licked a thin stripe up and down your slit. he wanted to tease you, he really did, but you were so sweet on his tongue that he couldn't help but devour you immediately. it was warm, wet, and sloppy and it felt so fucking good.

there was an endless string of breathy moans escaping you, and no matter how hard you tried to keep them at bay to not give him the satisfaction of being good at this, it was proving to be quite difficult— especially when he slipped two fingers in, curling them upwards and dragging a loud moan out of you.

you felt and heard him moan against you at that, making you sit up to watch. his eyes were closed and he looked like he was having the time of his fucking life between your legs, the sight and feeling of him making you clench around his fingers. he let out another moan as he sucked your clit, making your legs squeeze against him.

"fuck me" you breathed out, so quiet he didn't register it as anything other than praise.

"jj," you called out, wrapping your fingers in his hair and tugging to get his attention, "fuck me."

he was dazed, pussy drunk, fingers pumping in and out still as he climbed over you. you spit in your hand and started pumping his cock as he loomed over you, and it didn't take much longer before he pulled his fingers out and lined up at your entrance.

he paused for a moment, tip barely in you as he asked, "you sure? there's no going back after this."

even with him just barely breaching your entrance, you could feel the stretch.

"fuck me like you hate me" you replied, wrapping your legs around him and pushing him in.

you both let out a loud, long moan. the stretch was more pleasure than pain, but holy fuck was he big. he was balls deep, and even though he wasn't moving there were tears in your eyes. you were so tight around him, he had to move slowly at first. he could feel everything — your gummy walls, the slightest clench, how warm and wet you were. he could even see the bulge in your stomach, making him whimper.

it didn't take long before he pulled almost all the way out, thrusting back into you with a force you'd never felt before, the headboard of your bed lightly banging against the wall.

he went fast, hard and deep, and when he wrapped a hand around your throat and squeezed lightly, the moan you let out was pornographic.

"yeah, that's it" he muttered, "don't have much to say now, huh princess?"

he reached down with his other hand and rubbed slow, lazy circles on your clit, a complete contrast to how he was fucking you. "fuck you" you spat out, a moan escaping immediately after. he stopped rubbing your clit and slowed his pace, making you whine.

"what was that?" he asked, voice deep and low.

"i said, fuck you."

he squeezed your throat a little harder before letting go and pulling out. he flipped you over and pulled your hips up, hammering back into you with so much force that you almost fell off the bed. he slapped your ass hard, once, twice, three times before speaking.

"i'm gonna fuck you so good you'll never be with anyone else without thinking of me. i'm gonna ruin you."

he tangled his fist in your hair, pulling hard with each thrust. your legs were pressed together, ass in the air, slick dripping down your legs and you were desperate for more attention, but you couldn't utter a single word.

you tried to spread your legs and provide some relief for yourself, but jj quickly caught on and slapped your ass, hard. it stung in the best way.

"not so fast, baby. you need to behave first."

he wrapped his arm around you, acting as a shield and using it to hold your hips in place. you whined at the denial, and he couldn't stop the smile on his face. he wanted you to beg for it, for him to touch you. once he felt you clenching around him more and more, he slowed down again. he wasn't giving it to you that easily.

you propped yourself up with your hands, enjoying the new angle for barely a moment before he pulled you to his chest by your hair. you were basically sitting on his lap as he slowly thrust into you, shivers running down your spine as he whispered in your ear, breath hot on your skin.

"you're being so good f'me" he began, the praise making your head spin as you leaned back against him. "it's about time i put you in your place, don't y'think? if i'd've known this was all it took, woulda done it so long ago."

his free hand trailed lightly up and down your body as he spoke, leaving goosebumps in its trail. he could feel your slick sticking to him and his legs, and he couldn't get over how angelic you looked like this. with his hand still in your hair, he turned your head to the side and locked eyes with you.

"wish you would've."

your breath was heavy as you stared at him, giving him a look that made him never want this to end. he whimpered at that. he wasn't sure if he'd ever get you like this again, he needed to savour every second. he pressed his lips to yours, and when you pushed your tongue in his mouth he nearly crumbled.

"feels so good, jay" you whispered as you rolled your hips against him.

he nearly died at the nickname, how it came out so effortlessly. "yeah?"

"yeah" you nodded, lips brushing against his.

he let go of your hair, rubbing at your scalp to provide some relief before wrapping his arm around your chest. "you're so tight, takin' me so well."

you moaned at that, then again even louder when he finally rubbed at your clit with his middle finger. he made wide, slow circles, gathering your slick. jj placed soft kisses along your cheek and jaw, and maybe it was just you overthinking things, but this felt more intimate than anything.

it was slow, sensual, and became full of emotion out of nowhere. it terrified you.

you begged him to go faster, harder, and he waited a few moments before giving what you asked for. you could feel him everywhere, it was electrifying.

he rubbed fast, tight circles as he drilled into you from behind. "oh my god!" you nearly shouted, one hand gripping his thigh and the other holding onto his arm that was across your chest.

"c'mon, baby" he grunted, "come f'me." he nipped at your ear lobe.

it was merely seconds before the shockwaves ran through your body, a scream erupting from your throat. jj ate it up for a second before quickly covering your mouth, not wanting you to get any complaints, though he's sure that you already would.

you clenched tightly around him as he fucked you through your orgasm, and he didn't let up even after you squirmed from overstimulation. not until he finished. it quickly turned back into pleasure, and another orgasm.

"atta girl," he cooed, "think you got one more?"

you whimpered in response, and he was quick to soothe you. he pulled out, turning you around and laying you down, not wasting any time before thrusting back into you and chasing his own high.

he went hard and fast, rubbing at your clit once more, only getting sloppier and sloppier. still, it felt incredible. you were shaking beneath him, tears running down your cheeks as you whimpered and moaned.

"i can't— i'm g'na come" he sputtered out, eyes shut tight as he tried to wait just a little longer. he locked eyes with you as you placed a hand over his, making him rub faster, tighter circles.

the coil snapped once more, making you clench even harder and pull his own orgasm out of him. he pulled out quickly, pumping himself as he came all over your stomach, still not stopping his assault on your clit. his eyes were locked on yours the whole time.

it was an image he’d never forget, and was definitely going in the spank bank.

he was breathless, half hard as he bent down to kiss you before getting up. he went to the washroom and got a warm, wet rag to clean you up.

you were surprised with how gentle he was being, but you didn't say anything. you didn't want to ruin the moment. once you were all clean, he placed a kiss to your hip and tossed the rag into your hamper, then went to get a glass of water.

"um, i guess i should go" he said after you chugged half the glass, scratching the back of his neck.

"or you could stay" you shrugged. "wouldn't be the craziest thing that happened tonight."

he chuckled at that, "no, it wouldn't."

you crawled under the covers, watching as he had an internal debate. he looked over to you, and you pat the spot next to you.

he climbed in with a small smile, covering up and staring at the ceiling. "sorry for being such an asshole to you all the time" he confessed after a few minutes.

you let out a small laugh, "its fine. you made up for it" you teased.

he looked over to you with a smile, and he couldn't help but kiss your forehead. "night" you whispered, turning around and closing your eyes.

"goodnight" he replied, moving closer to you and holding you tight.

in the morning, you woke up alone.

[biancasaidstfu]

https://www.tumblr.com/biancasaidstfu/788366060387713024/not-exactly-a-theory-but-from-my-experience-at?source=share

This makes sense and actually Outer Banks is experiencing some of this costar shipping drama too. I've always been of the opinion that Luke and Nic can't get into anything if they're still on the job. Sam and Bessie got to do it because they weren't going to be in S4 anyway. It's not uncommon in contracts to have clauses about relationships at work.

I remember my older family members used to talk about George Clooney being a Hollywood playboy, it didn't stop him from getting work but the reputation of a fuck boy didn't sit well with too much people too. Then he got married and that was a whole 360 turnaround.

I also agree with the part about Nicola and her age, it works for her now but eventually she's not going to be considered for roles where she can play a younger character in their teens or 20's. Big Mood is that shift for her and since she did so well with it pretty soon she will not want to keep acting young and she won't be chosen to act young. The industry is fucked up and ageist but she really has that against her. She is very aware of it and some of her solo interviews last year she referred to the ageism. She also knows she may not have the opportunity to lead a romantic show as well because she herself said it. Either because she may not want to or may not get the opportunity to. She can be a romantic lead but based on industry standards they will have to type cast her into a role that isn't the best because it will be disparaging one of the not so typical looking woman looking for love. Those types of roles will be a disservice to her talent. I think the industry needs to move away from the typical romantic look of a lead man/woman but it will be years before that is accepted. I still think she will do well in her career but we know she will continue to battle a lot of shit behind the scenes.

It makes sense.

As for this side of things? I think it’s been a giant waste of time then. And all the little “crumbs” we’ve gotten have been purely for attention and don’t actually matter.

[ggukvnly]

Before We Knew || JJK

Chapter 1

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ synopsis; He was her brother’s best friend. That should’ve been the line — but the way they looked at each other said otherwise. It was always there. They just hadn’t admitted it yet.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ genre; brother’s best friend | fuck buddies

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ pairing; jungkook x you

Living with your older brother isn’t terrible. It’s not fun either, but it’s not terrible.

Jimin’s the type who leaves his shoes in the middle of the hallway, forgets to replace the toilet paper roll, and complains about grocery prices while buying five different protein powders. But he’s your brother, and after enough years of watching him boss you around, protect you from your own decisions, and ruin your favorite playlists with his gym edits, you’ve learned to let most of it slide.

Plus, he means well. He didn’t exactly beg you to move in, but he didn’t give you much of a choice either. According to him, your solo apartment hunt could wait. Something about “the market being ridiculous right now��� and “you’ll save money” and “you’re not ready to live alone anyway.”

It had felt like a step back at first. Being under your brother’s roof again after finally having your own space at college. But now, two months in, you’re mostly settled. Your room feels like yours. The apartment smells like fabric softener and leftover takeout. You’ve figured out which cabinets hold snacks and which ones are weirdly empty all the time.

You’ve also figured out that Jungkook shows up here way too often.

You should’ve expected that, really. He’s been part of your life since you were twelve. Since Jimin started dragging him over after school, tossing his bag on the floor like he owned the place, acting like Jungkook wasn’t basically a stranger to you at the time.

He wasn’t a stranger for long.

Now, years later, he’s still around. Still casual. Still just Jungkook.

You walk out of your room in shorts and an old hoodie, your phone in one hand, hair tied up loosely. You hear the door open and close, and you already know who it is before he speaks.

“Yo,” Jungkook calls out, voice easy. “Where’s Jimin?”

You don’t even bother looking up. “Gym.”

He snorts. “Of course.”

You glance over your shoulder and spot him heading to the kitchen. He grabs a bottle of water from the fridge, leans on the counter like he always does, and scrolls through something on his phone. It’s all normal, all familiar. Nothing new.

You move to the couch and sink into the armrest, legs curled under you. Some random show plays quietly in the background. You’re not really watching. You’re aware of him moving behind you, though. The sound of the fridge closing. His rings tapping the water bottle. His footsteps against the floor.

He walks over a second later and drops onto the other end of the couch without asking. That’s not new either.

“Comfy?” you ask, eyeing how he takes up most of the space already.

He leans back, stretching a little. “More than at home.”

You laugh under your breath. “What’s wrong with your place now?”

He shrugs. “It’s boring when I’m there alone.”

“You could clean or something.”

“That’s the most unfunny thing you’ve ever said.”

You smile a little and pick at the sleeve of your hoodie.

He stretches again, arm resting behind the couch — not on you, but close enough that you notice.

“You still liking your classes?” he asks suddenly.

You blink, then nod. “Yeah. Mostly. One of my profs is kind of useless.”

“Sounds like college.”

You glance at him. “You miss it?”

He thinks for a second. “Sometimes. Not the lectures, but the freedom was nice.”

You hum in agreement.

There’s a short pause. Comfortable, not awkward.

Then he smirks a little. “ Your brother still uses that giant water bottle like his life depends on it?”

You grin. “He calls it his ‘emotional support jug.’”

Jungkook laughs, head falling back against the couch. “He would.”

“He made me carry it to the gym once. I swear it weighs more than I do.”

“Did you actually go to the gym?”

“No,” you say immediately. “I dropped him off and went for coffee.”

He laughs again, quieter this time.

You look over at him again, watching the way his smile lingers. His hair’s messy from his hoodie, and his earrings catch the light when he turns a little. He’s not even trying, and he still looks like that. It should be illegal.

You shift slightly, trying not to let your thoughts drift too far. This is how it’s always been. He talks to you like a friend. Like Jimin’s little sister, nothing more. And you’ve spent too many years convincing yourself that it’s fine.

It is fine.

You remind yourself of that as you glance at him one more time, just before he picks up the remote and flips the channel without asking.

The door swings open again, and this time it’s louder.

You glance back to see Jimin stepping in, gym bag slung over his shoulder, followed by Taehyung who kicks the door shut behind him like he’s done it a hundred times.

“Smells like sweat and regret in here,” Taehyung says, fanning his face dramatically.

Jimin drops his bag by the door. “Blame Jungkook. He’s been here all day.”

“I literally got here twenty minutes ago,” Jungkook calls out without looking up.

You smile, already sinking deeper into the couch. The chaos level in the apartment just went up by two — and honestly, you don’t mind it.

The boys drift toward the kitchen eventually — one of those slow, lazy movements that just happens when boredom kicks in and everyone starts hoping the fridge magically got restocked.

You get up too, mostly out of habit. “You guys didn’t bring anything?” you ask, stepping past Jimin and Taehyung.

“We brought ourselves,” Taehyung says proudly.

“Yeah, well, yourselves don’t count as snacks,” you mutter, opening the fridge.

Jimin shrugs, clearly unbothered. “You eat everything before we even get here anyway.”

You whip around, giving him a look. “Excuse me?”

Taehyung smirks. “She’s not denying it.”

Your mouth opens, then closes. You actually can’t deny it. You just glare at both of them instead.

Jungkook laughs from behind you, shaking his head as he walks into the kitchen.

“Stop bullying her,” he says, grabbing a bottle of water. “She’s the only one here with decent snacks.”

“That she hides,” Jimin adds, opening cabinets with no luck.

“I don’t hide them,” you lie.

“You literally keep chips in your laundry basket.”

That gets a full round of laughter. You look away, cheeks warming. “Okay, that was once.”

“Once a week,” Jimin grins.

“Shut up,” you mutter, tossing a pack of biscuits on the counter just to get them off your back.

Jungkook’s still smiling when he glances at you. Just briefly. Just enough for you to notice.

Eventually, the chaos settled. Everyone stopped bickering long enough to agree on what to eat, and after what felt like forever, the food finally arrived. The boys were practically attacking it the second it hit the table, barely giving you time to grab your share before the fries disappeared.

You let them argue over the last spring roll and slip into the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

But then Taehyung says something that catches your attention.

“You good though?” he asks Jungkook. “Like, actually?”

Something about the way he says it makes you pause.

You take a step back, pretending to be filing the glass and adding lemon to it. The conversation drops to a quieter level, but the voices carry just enough.

“Yeah.” Jungkook says.

There’s a pause.

“She messaged me,” he adds. “Last week.”

Taehyung doesn’t say anything for a second. “And?”

“I didn’t reply.”

You don’t move. You’re standing just past the hallway now, where they can’t see you, but their voices still reach your ears.

“She’s the one who picked fights every other day,” Jungkook goes on. “I wasn’t gonna chase her after that. She ended it.”

Taehyung hums. “Still. Three months.”

“Yeah,” Jungkook says. “And I’m not going to get back with her.”

He sounds tired. Not broken, just… done.

“Fair,” Taehyung says after a while.

You’re not even sure why it bothers you.

Maybe it’s the calm way he said it — like she wasn’t even a wound, just a name. Maybe it’s how easy it is for him to open up to Taehyung about her, and how you’ve never been part of those kinds of conversations. Or maybe it’s the way your chest reacted before your brain could catch up, tightening with something that felt suspiciously like jealousy, even though you have no right.

You quickly step back into the kitchen like you’ve just walked in. “What are you guys whispering about in here?”

You sit on the couch and sip your water, pretending you didn’t just eavesdrop on something personal. Pretending your head isn’t now full of some girl named Nari and the version of Jungkook she got to have.They don’t talk about her again.

“Nothing,” Jungkook says smoothly. “Tae’s just mad I didn’t let him pick the show.”

“Because your taste is actually criminal,” Taehyung fires back.

“You watched a pottery competition for three hours.”

“That show had heart.”

Jimin snorts. “Here we go again.”

You smirk, already sliding onto the couch. “Honestly? The pottery show kinda slapped.”

Jungkook looks at you like you betrayed him. “Et tu, Y/N?”

Taehyung points proudly. “She has taste.”

“You have propaganda,” Jungkook mutters, grabbing the remote.

Jimin groans. “Can we just agree you all watch weird stuff and move on?”

“No,” Taehyung and Jungkook say at the same time.

The boys go back to half-watching TV, half-scrolling their phones, cracking jokes and yelling at each other over scores like the world hasn’t shifted at all. And maybe it hasn’t. Maybe it’s just you.

Later, when Jimin starts yawning and Taehyung says he’s gonna crash early, the living room clears out bit by bit. You stretch your arms above your head, already planning to grab a snack and hide out in your room.

“You’re tired?” Jungkook asks from beside you, voice lower now that things are quieter.

You glance at him. “A little. Just full, honestly.”

“Could’ve guessed. You were fighting Jimin over spring rolls like it was life or death.”

You grin. “They were good.”

He smiles, leaning forward to place his empty can on the table. His hair falls into his eyes for a second. “You always like those? Or was that new?”

“The spring rolls?”

“Yeah.”

You shrug. “Jimin and I used to split them when we were younger. Now I just hoard them out of habit.”

He hums, like he’s tucking that away somewhere. “Makes sense.”

There’s a pause. Just soft background noise from the TV, voices murmuring from another room.

Then he turns to you again. “You still thinking about moving out?”

Your brows lift slightly. “Why? You want my room?”

“No,” he laughs. “Just asking.”

You rest your head against the back of the couch. “Yeah. I mean, eventually. Jimin’s being all dramatic about it.”

“He’s your older brother. It’s part of the job.”

“Still. It’s like he forgets I’ve lived alone before.”

Jungkook doesn’t say anything to that, but his expression softens a little. He watches you for a second longer than necessary — and not in a weird way. Just like he’s seeing something he hadn’t noticed before.

You look away before you can do something stupid like stare back.

“I’ll probably wait a few more months,” you say quietly. “Just until I find a place I like.”

“You’ll find one.”

You smile faintly. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

He nudges your knee gently with his. “Anytime.”

Your heart does that stupid thing it always does around him — a skip, a flicker, something uncalled for. You wish it would stop. Or at least give you a warning next time.

He doesn’t move his leg away.

But he doesn’t move closer either.

Just… stays there. Right where he is. Easy. Comfortable. Like this is just another night where nothing means anything.

And maybe it is.

Maybe that’s what makes it sting a little.

Taglist; @senaqsstuff

[steelthroat]

Okay i feel the need to add non idw Shockwave shenanigans:

Transformers animated:

Spent centuries cosplaying a young autobot while being a double agent (him. Who was older than most autobots in all of autobot society)

When almost found out the first time he manipulated everyone into incarcerating and torturing the wrong guy and made him go completely crazy.

When almost found out the second time he made a cube out of his underling and made another underling throw him in the trash

When shit went crazy he attacked one of the most powerful autobots and left him comatose/almost dead/very dead (this guy was Megatron’s rival before op)

Brainwashing is his hobby

Semi-reverse brainwashing was also a thing

Petty beef with a collegue

Looks like a weird eldrich-horror-deer thing and has a british accent

G1 cartoon Shockwave:

Misogynistic

British

Got ghosted for 4 million years

Left on his home planet handling resources while his and the rival faction play in the sandbox on earth

Most of the soacebridges meant to reach cybertron explode in most episodes

In another timeline, he survived Unicron's attack on Cybertron. He formed a friendship with a guy and the two resolved to conquer the world of business and entertainment via shadowy corporate dealings and pop music to help his boss.

Wfc:+aligned as a whole

Jurassic park is his passion, but the dinosaurs turn into guys who hate him

Traumatized his test subjects so badly they formed an underclass of Cybertronians who didn't even remember their names and were... not in good shape.

Made guys who combine into a bigger guy

Experimented drugs on his collegues

Experimetned on a demigod

Meddling with sharkticons and insecticons is his passion

Transformers Prime:

Jurassic park is his passion

Oh shit my dinosaur got killed

Oh shit my dinosaur is alive

"Oh shit my extinct beast turns into a grown ass men who feels lonely"

Oh shit my boss thinks my dinosaurs are too dangerous and wants me to destroy all of my project. Wow. Milliennia of experiments and research gone and I simply say "oke"

Almost half-blinds his colleague after he tried to leave him alone while autobots attacked (again). Doesn't do it because the excuse received was logical

The only time he ever acts kind is when he speaks with another nerd who was also his prisoner

Almost gets killed by the undead dinosaurs

Makes fun of a disabled guy

Skybound:

Mhhhh whale smoothie yummy

Traumatized a guy so badly he stops mid epic entrance and runs away

[Idk i haven't read more I'm sure he did more]

Netflix war for cybertron trilogy:

I think he has a problem with ultra magnus, because guess what... he tortures him here too. Damn. Save this guy from Shockwave please

Made a virus that fucked up his planet and everyone told him it was a bad idea/last resort. Did it anyway.

Harvested his own decepticons

He could technically still be alive. Which is scarier.

Bayverse:

Has got a giant worm

Blargh blurgh blor blorg

active in a battle during the 1560s, where his exploits were recorded in a painting. He later participated in World War I around 1917, where his silhouette had been used on a war poster(gotten from the wiki i didn't remember this lol)

Cyberverse:

Tried to manipulate an amnesiac guy and fails

Microaggression against seekers where he says "ofc you failed your kind is dumb as fuck"

Experiments on other mechs ofc

Made a guy uncomfortable with his staring

Dance dance revolution

He participated on a twitch stream

Scared another guy when he appeared to him as a vision/ghost

Marvel:

Oh god this is one of my faves, he's done too much unhinged shit I'll make another reblog later but ooooh boy he was crazy crazy

2019 idw:

I don't remember much, but you can add your propaganda here

PROPAGANDA

Shocwave:

He didn't have a doctorate but he WAS a senator from cybertron. In the G1 iteration he was the "logical scientist that built super weapons" archetype, in Transformers: Prime he built a spacebridge AND he used old cybertronian fossils to make a dragon (straight up copied from Jurassic Park) and in the comics he gets up to so much shit that the mere mention of a bench sends his fan into a conniption. He's also purple!

There are so many different versions of this freak, it's crazy! In one universe he's just some guy. In another he's a rebel leader. Maybe he's a petty criminal with a love for cackling. Or maybe he's an artificial god who built his own temple. I mean, what if he had a huge building-eating pet worm? It's not that different from the one time he brought back extinct dragon robots for his clone army. Does a double-crossing secret spy sound interesting? Y'know he was once a robot rights activist. Usually he's a terrorist but what do you do when your lab is filled with things that are massively illegal? A Shockwave for everything you could want

I have the most knowledge of TFP, so that what I'll use. Anyway, he invented the cortical psychic patch, which basically allows one to enter another's mind, and it's used in some dubious ways by several people, but Shockwave uses it the most brutally. He also cloned an extinct species of transformer, using just small amounts of bones. He also has a massive monoboob, and replaced one of his hands with a cannon, meaning he did all of the unethical scientific work with a good third of his vision obscured and with one hand.

Carlos Dave Robles:

Perfect hair. Gay. We love to see it

[tobiasdrake]

Digimon Adventure 02x32 - Mysterious Ruins, Holy Stone / If I Only Had a Heart

Previously on Digimon Adventure: The Dark Ocean came back for revenge but Dagomon had a scheduling conflict and bounced, so the meeting was ultimately unproductive. On the plus side, Miyako learned a valuable lesson from slapping Ken into cooperation previously. Putting it into practice, Miyako and Hikari used this block of time to slap each other until Sylphimon happened.

We open on BlackWarGreymon wandering through a desert now littered with the bodies of vanquished enemies. These enemies have not disintegrated into pixel dust, however, so it's unclear if they're dead or just have nasty boo-boos.

BlackWarGreymon: Is there anyone out there?

As he walks, he leaves a visible distortion trail in the air behind him. That would be the distortion that Arachnemon and Mummymon are following. His very existence is bending and warping reality.

BlackWarGreymon: Any strong opponent that I can defeat?

Sadly, no one has the heart to tell him that Ultimate-stage Digimon are supremely rare and mythical so he's pretty much fucked.

In the dub:

BlackWarGreymon: Who's next!? Come on! Stand up and fight! This is too easy! I need a more worthy opponent. Is there no one who can challenge me?

Original BWG delivers his lines with a solemn tone. He's despondent over his inability to find a rival.

Dub BWG is more aggressive and boastful while still coming back to the same idea that he's looking for a stronger quarry.

Suddenly, BlackWarGreymon comes upon a whole row of Mammon lined up together.

Mammon is a Perfect-stage Vaccine-attribute Ancient Beast Digimon. We saw one of them before during Vamdemon's invasion of New York. A Mammon was included among Tailmon's mercenaries and was incredibly unsubtle in their search for the Eighth Child. They rampaged through Hikarigaoka before being killed by Garudamon.

Narrator: Mammon! A Perfect-stage Digimon whose special attack is Tusk Strike!

Narrator's still phoning it in but in his defense, we already know this one. And these are fake Digimon anyway so there's not really any relevant behavioral details or interesting trivia.

Standing atop a ridge overlooking the herd, Arachnemon calls out to BlackWarGreymon.

Arachnemon: Now, come back to us quietly. Mummymon: You've made this hard enough on us as it is. We had to use two hundred of our valuable Dark Towers to make these! Two. Hundred. BlackWarGreymon: Interesting. These might be worthwhile adversaries. Mummymon: Wait, what?

Sadly, Arachnemon and Mummymon have fallen afoul of the "Threaten me with a good time, why doncha?" pitfall.

And are also incredibly wasteful. For that price, they could have gotten two whole BlackWarGreymon. Be better at math, Arachnemon.

In the dub, BWG has a couple lines before the rundown, demonstrating his snarkier dub personality.

BlackWarGreymon: What's this? Mammothmon: HRRRRRGGGGH BlackWarGreymon: Well, well, well. What do we have here? Looks like the circus is in town. Mammothmon: (rundown) Hardly! We're Mammothmon, giant woolly Digimon who travel in herds. You are no match for our Tusk Crusher attack!

Dark Tower/Control Spire Digimon aren't supposed to have dialogue, Mammothmon. This rundown should have been delivered by Arukenimon or Mummymon. The dub's been inconsistent on that by letting them call attacks but this is the first time they've given them full-blown voice lines.

Arukenimon: There you are, BlackWarGreymon. What a bad boy, running away from home. Mummymon: You're in a lot of trouble! Now be a good Digimon and come with us! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY CONTROL SPIRES IT TOOK TO CREATE THESE MAMMOTHMON!?!? ...how many was it? Arukenimon: Two hundred. Mummymon: Two hundred! BlackWarGreymon: I wonder how powerful they are? Let's find out. Mummymon: What do you think you're doing!?

Mummymon forgetting the number in the middle of his tongue-lashing is pretty funny. The original version of the last two lines is better than the dub's, though.

For one thing, original BWG is intrigued by the threat. They meet him with twenty Mammon and he sidesteps the entire "Come with us" demand by going "Gimme gimme". Dub BWG engages more with the original point; He comes off skeptical and braggadocious, like "LOL you're going to need more men to tame me."

Dub Mummymon's response then is too long for the comical effect it's meant for. His collar covers his mouth so it's not even a matter of matching lip flaps. He just says too many words to give a "What!?" punchline.

Between those two issues, the whole joke is pretty much gone. Dub BWG is just flatly resisting capture.

With BWG's intentions clear, the twenty Mammon all attack him at once, stampeding in four rows of five.

They keep right on going until they're past him. He never seems to move a muscle and remains standing in that same spot he was in when the herd passes.

Mummymon: What just happened?

Suddenly, the whole center column disintegrates. Four Mammon are dead in an instant.

Arachnemon: It can't be! Mummymon: I don't believe it! Four Perfects destroyed in an instant!

The others turn and attack BlackWarGreymon again. As he cuts them down, Arachnemon faints into Mummymon's arms.

Arachnemon: Oogh, my precious Dark Towers....

As BWG continues to cut them down, he monologues to himself.

BlackWarGreymon: I destroy.... (Slash) BlackWarGreymon: ...and destroy.... (Stomp) BlackWarGreymon: ...but it feels hollow. These enemies aren't weak by any means... And yet.... (Slash) BlackWarGreymon: WHAT IS THIS EMPTINESS!?!?

An interesting note is BWG's admission that 20 Mammon are a genuine challenge for him. He's dominating the fight but he is at least being tested. Let's see how he handles 100 men.

In the dub:

BlackWarGreymon: Over here, boys! (The herd charges through BWG) Mummymon: I don't believe it. Arukenimon: That's impossible. They didn't even make a dent! Mummymon: Not a scratch on him! (Suddenly, the center column dies) Arukenimon: Tell me I didn't see what I just saw! Mummymon: Well, if what you saw was four large Mammothmon disintegrating then I can't tell you that! 'Cause that's what you saw! BlackWarGreymon: Next. Mammothmon: I've got a few tricks in the ol' trunk! HROOOARGH!!! (BWG cuts down more until Arukenimon faints) Arukenimon: Ooogh, catch me! (BWG keeps going and kills another) BlackWarGreymon: I defeat my opponents so easily. (Slash) BlackWarGreymon: It's not enough. (Stomp) BlackWarGreymon: I still feel an emptiness inside. No matter what I do, nothing seems to fill this void. (Slash) BlackWarGreymon: WHY DO I FEEL SO EMPTY!?!?

Psst. Mammothmon. You're not supposed to be capable of speech. This one line of banter and them giving their own diegetic rundown is all extremely damaging to the main talking point that the show intends to discuss with them.

BWG continues to be snarkier and edgier than his Japanese counterpart, which may be because he's voiced by Steve Blum, the voice actor for Wolverine. You can hear a distinctly Wolverine edge to his line reads.

In the original, Arachnemon and Mummymon are initially confused after the herd passes, and then transition to shock when four Mammon die on the spot. The dub has them already shocked by the lack of a trampled BWG, which blunts the surprise of the actual consequence.

Picking up on BWG's outburst seems to bring Arachnemon back to her senses.

Arachnemon: ...emptiness? Ohohohoho!

Standing up, Arachnemon calls out to BlackWarGreymon.

Arachnemon: It's an illusion.

Beneath BlackWarGreymon's foot, the latest defeated Mammon suddenly breaks down. Like the others, their outer skin bag suddenly tears away, revealing the cold stone of the Dark Tower underneath. Then the Tower stone crumbles away into pixel dust.

Arachnemon: You're the same as them. I created you from Dark Towers. Just a lifeless puppet on a string. Puppets don't have any thoughts or feelings. So then the real reason you're hallucinating this feeling of emptiness is... Yeah, that's it. Combining as many as 100 Dark Towers at once probably caused too many separate programs to get scrambled together, or something like that. BlackWarGreymon: Too many programs...?

He's malfunctioning, is basically what she's saying. He's a chatbot that is mistakenly behaving as if it has a semblance of life because of an error in its coding. That's Arachnemon's interpretation.

"You're not really alive; You're just a dumb program that's functioning improperly" was a common Bad Guy Opinion in fiction about AI back in the day but boy does it hit different in the modern era of ChatGPT.

In the dub:

Arukenimon: Emotional, isn't he? Pfft... huhuhuAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You can't be feeling empty because you have no feelings! (Mammothmon under BWG's foot dies) Arukenimon: It's just your imagination. I created you from Control Spires so you're nothing more than my little puppet. Mummymon: Oh, I love a good puppet show-- Arukenimon: SILENCE. (to BWG) I wonder why you're experiencing this, these imaginary feelings of yours. It's quite possible that when the Control Spires you were made from fused together, the leftover programs that weren't being used caused this reaction. BlackWarGreymon: Left... over... programs?

This is pretty good. Arukenimon presents BWG's feelings as an illusion of his program data, but it's also clear from the way she presents it that she's speculating and has no concrete information.

The one misstep is that they took out the comparison between BWG and the artificial Mammothmon that just died. So now its death is a nonsequitur. The conversation briefly pauses so it can die but it's not meaningful to the conversation in any way.

The herd goes on the attack once more while BlackWarGreymon considers Arachnemon's words.

BlackWarGreymon: How much easier it would be if I were just a Dark Tower Digimon, like you said. But....

BWG spins up a vortex, using his version of what WarGreymon calls the Great Tornado to kill three more Mammon.

BlackWarGreymon: ...it hurts so much because I'm not! And you're telling me I'm hallucinating this pain!? Mummymon: Well, there is one way you can rid yourself of the pain. BlackWarGreymon: What? Mummymon: Cast off your sense of self and do as you're told. BlackWarGreymon: I don't take orders from people who are weaker than me. Mummymon: YOU WHAT-- Arachnemon: (to Mummymon) That's enough! Mummymon: ... Arachnemon: (to BWG) You can't provoke us.

Arachnemon's skin is too thick to be pierced by BWG! An 11-year-old boy saying she looks like a butt, on the other hand....

Arachnemon: I guess you can do as you will. We're done with you. See you around.

With that, Arachnemon turns on her heels and heads back the way she came. Surprised and confused, Mummymon whips around.

Mummymon: Hey, wait for me!

He scrambles to follow after her. As they depart, they leave BWG with what's left of the Mammon herd. As the herd charges at him once more, BWG turns to face them.

BWG: All of you... You really don't feel anything? You don't have a soul!? ANSWER ME!!!

With Dramon Killers at his sides, BWG charges into the fray once more.

Two things to note. First, of course, is a reminder that in Japanese, 心 kokoro or the heart represents the totality of a person's personality, identity, thoughts and feelings. It basically means a person's "soul" in the artistic sense, the expression of that person's intrinsic self and all it contains.

By contrast, the actual physical organ of the heart has a different word for it: 心臓 Shinzou, which you may notice contains the kanji for 心 kokoro. 臓 Zou means entrails, guts, internal body bits. In Japanese, you literally have to specify that you mean "the heart organ" if you're talking about the mass of tissue beating in your chest. These are related but different words.

But it often just gets translated straight across as "heart" anyway, to the mild confusion of an American audience who thinks your "heart" is just your capacity for compassion and love.

*coughcough Kingdom Hearts*

Second, an interesting note about Arachnemon's farewell. She uses じゃあね Jaa ne, which is a super casual way of saying goodbye for a short time to your friends or family. Someone you expect to hang out with again soon.

In the dub:

BlackWarGreymon: How simple it would all be if I were just another one of your Control Spire Digimon. But I'm not! (BWG kills three Mammothmon with Great Tornado) BlackWarGreymon: I'm not a simple creation from one Control Spire! I'm complex! Made up of many Spires! That's why I suffer! Or is it still my imagination? Arukenimon: Beats me. Mummymon: There is an easy way to end your suffering. BlackWarGreymon: How do you propose I do that? Mummymon: Just simply forget about all this 'feeling' nonsense and follow orders like you're supposed to do! BlackWarGreymon: I will not take orders from those inferior to myself. Mummymon: WHY I OUGHTTA-- Arukenimon: (to Mummymon) Stop it! Mummymon: Awww.... Arukenimon: I won't take his feeble bait. Just to prove I'm superior. (to BWG) Go ahead and feel, if you want. You're of no more use to me. (Arukenimon leaves; Mummymon turns and scrambles after) Mummymon: Yeah! Feel to your imaginary heart's discontent! (Mammon herd charges) BlackWarGreymon: I'm not imagining my turmoil. If what they say is true, then my enemies don't suffer when I destroy them. Tell me something, Mammothmon. ARE YOU IMAGINING ME!?!?

"I'm complex! Made of many Spires!" Wolverine's going hard to try and make this dialogue sound dignified but he's nonetheless giving some real whiny little shit energy with that part.

We lose Mummymon's confused Wait What moment when Arachnemon suddenly quits this conversation and leaves. But his pitiful "Awww" when she cuts him off is pretty funny.

The original ends this scene with BWG baring his soul to the Mammon herd, all but begging them to give him an emotional response and prove he's not alone. Dub BWG just brags about how cool and powerful he is.

Following Arachnemon and Mummymon, we find them driving away. Arachnemon was serious when she said she was washing her hands of BWG. That wasn't a ploy.

Arachnemon: What a useless piece of junk.... Mummymon: Hey, Arachnemon? Arachnemon: What? Mummymon: About the Holy Stones... Arachnemon: Oh, those things you were looking for? Mummymon: There's one nearby. Should we go check it out? Arachnemon: Is there any truth to that rumor? Mummymon: We can find out if it's true or not after we smash it. Arachnemon: Eh, up to you. Mummymon: YES!!!

With Arachnemon's cosign, Mummymon sets course for the Holy Stone. As he drives, he has a thought.

Mummymon: Hey, do you think we have souls? Arachnemon: Ha! I can't be bothered to think about things like that.

As they go, Mummymon honks the horn seemingly for fun, honking out a short musical ditty. Neither of them notices Tentomon nearby, having spotted them driving past.

This conversation sets us on the next leg of our journey. Arachnemon and Mummymon are leaving BlackWarGreymon behind and chasing after a new plot device with nefarious intent. But what's really interesting are those last two lines.

In response to the argument with BWG over whether an artificial lifeform can have a soul, Mummymon calls into question whether he and Arachnemon do. That this would even need to be asked raises serious questions about what the pair even are.

They're obviously not Dark Tower Digimon because Dark Tower Digimon aren't supposed to be cognizant. But Mummymon's question strongly implies that they aren't real Digimon either. So what does that leave?

In the dub:

Arukenimon: Rats. Another failed plan.... Mummymon: Forget it. Let's talk about what's really important. Arukenimon: What? Mummymon: The Destiny Stones! Arukenimon: Oh. Those silly things you keep searching for. Mummymon: I know one that's pretty close by. Maybe we should go take a look. Arukenimon: I wonder if the Destiny Stone rumors are really true? Mummymon: The only way to find out is to actually destroy one! Arukenimon: ...if we have nothing better to do. Mummymon: YES!!! Hehehehehe.... (They drive that way) Mummymon: I also know a lovely little spot near here for a love picnic for two! Arukenimon: (excited) Really!? (snarky) Who are you taking? (Tentomon) Tentomon: What is a Destiny Stone!?

The dub takes its first commercial break here.

Tentomon doesn't have dialogue in the original, but the dub is pretty confident that he was able to hear that whole conversation.

The last two lines between the deadly duo are really funny and I'm mad about it because it makes it harder to hate them for the really interesting foreshadowing they erased. Arukenimon's delivery of the punchline is so perfect. But that was kind of an important WTF!

Other than that, the main difference here is tonal. Original Mummymon is subservient here, meekly asking permission. Dub Mummymon engages with Arukenimon more as an equal and convinces her reluctantly to go along with his idea.

Oh, and the obvious censoring of the word "Holy". Like a lot of proper nouns, "Holy Stone" is spoken in English so it's not a matter of how it's translated. The dub has always gone out of its way to scrub out religious verbage where it can.

Returning to BlackWarGreymon, he's still slaughtering the remaining Dark Tower Mammon.

(Slash) BlackWarGreymon: Why!? (Slash) BlackWarGreymon: Why won't you answer me!?

Offering only animal noises, the rest of the herd charges him again.

BlackWarGreymon: I envy you. All of you who don't think about anything.

At this point, he's not even really asking them his question. As he slaughters two more and the rest mindlessly go on the offensive again, he's all but begging them to JUST.

FUCKING.

SAY.

SOMETHING.

So that he knows he's not truly alone. That it isn't really just him. But he might as well be talking to himself.

In the dub:

(Slash) BlackWarGreymon: Why!? (Slash) BlackWarGreymon: Why won't you answer me!? (The rest charge again) BlackWarGreymon: You poor, simple-minded creatures. How I envy you....

With the changes the dub's made to your dialogue, I really do not get the impression that you do. I think they just had to have him say that for the transition.

Speaking of simple-minded creatures who don't think about anything, that's our cue to check in with Daisuke.

Jun: I really envy you, Daisuke.

I wasn't being mean. That is actually the joke. By the way, that thing in his mouth that looks like a cookie is 煎餅 senbei, a type of rice cracker. The part on the side that looks like the seaweed wrap of a rice ball is, in fact, seaweed wrap.

Jun: You get to just play around without having to think about anything, don't you? Daisuke: We think about lots of stuff!

Daisuke pluralizes his single-person pronoun here but I'm not actually sure why since Jun's only coming after him personally.

Jun: "Lots of stuff". Like what? Daisuke: Like...

Daisuke bites off the rice cracker in his mouth as he considers the question.

Daisuke: ...lots of complicated stuff. But if I think about it too much then my brain starts going "clack clack clack", so sometimes I need to take my mind off it. Jun: I doubt it's anything serious. Daisuke: Shut up.

Hey, remember like a month ago when Daisuke had to talk Ken down from killing himself? Good times. But obviously not anything he can share with Jun.

The dub nails the transition perfectly.

Jun: How I envy you, Davis. Look at you. Davis: Hm? Jun: All you ever think about is eating, sleeping, and playing video games. What a simple creature you are. Davis: There are plenty of other things that I think about. Jun: Oh yeah? Name one. Davis: Well, lots of things. (Davis bites off the rice cracker) Davis: But thinking about them hurts my head so, in order to keep my mind as razor sharp as it needs to be, I'm taking a break from thinking to play some video games! Jun: Those games turn your brain to mush if you ask me. Davis: Well no one asked you!

Jun gets distracted to shit-talk video games. Original Jun stays on-target shit-talking Daisuke.

Now that Daisuke has done a bad job of defending himself despite having a leg to stand on, he pushes the topic back at Jun. What is this even about? What is happening right now?

Daisuke: How about you? Jun: I....

Jun points to a little red mark on her chin.

Jun: Look at this! I think it's a pimple!

According to Japanese superstitions about acne, getting a pimple on your chin means that somebody out there is thinking about you. Consequently, Jun momentarily gets excited by the possibility.

Jun: Could it mean Yamato-kun has finally accepted my feelings? That'd be great but what if it's some old-- DAISUKE!!! LISTEN TO ME!!!

Realizing Daisuke's gone back to playing what looks to be Dragon Quest, Jun yanks out the plug to the console and shuts it off.

Daisuke: HEY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, YOU ASSHOLE!?!? Jun: THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT LISTENING TO ME!!!

We don't see it happen; we cut to a discretion shot of the building's exterior. But Jun's angry shout is followed by a clear and distinct slapping sound. Daisuke returns to his room with an unambiguous red handprint on his face.

Daisuke: (distressed) Uggggh... stupid sister.... Chibimon: Daisuke! You got an email from Hikari!

Chibimon brings the D-Terminal over so Daisuke can read the message. It says:

"Tentomon found Arachnemon's team. Meet at the Computer Clubroom."

We've been getting hints about how ugly Daisuke's home life is and how much he resents Jun for a while now. Though it started out ambiguously way back in the RedVeggiemon episode, it's been getting more and more open as episodes have gone by.

If it wasn't already evident that Daisuke is a victim of sibling abuse, this scene really puts a spotlight on it. For practically no reason whatsoever, Jun suddenly pops into the room to insult Daisuke, then pulls the plug on his game and hits him in the face when he stops listening.

This is a really ugly moment for her. And the way Daisuke just takes it with resignation implies that this is normal. That their parents are doing nothing to control this behavior. Is that why Jun is so over-the-top? Neglectful parenting? No idea, but I can see why Daisuke wants to be part of the Yagami family instead.

In the dub:

Davis: So what do you want, anyway? Jun: It's not important... (Jun points) Jun: A pimple! My life as we know it is through! What if Matt sees me? He's so cute and I'm so hideous with this extra head on my chin. He'll get all grossed out and he'll break up with me! Of course, we're not actually dating but-- ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME!?!? (Jun pulls the plug) Davis: HEY!!! WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR!?!? Jun: I NEED YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION!!! Davis: EXCUSE ME, WHO'S TALKING!?!? YOU OR THAT GIANT ZIT!?!? Jun: (gasp) (SLAP; Davis goes to his room) Davis: For a zit, it sure does hit hard. DemiVeemon: Davis! Kari sent you an email! Davis: (reads) Come on, DemiVeemon! We've gotta get to the Digital World.

The new email much more vaguely reads "Davis! Something strange is happening in the DigiWorld. We need you! ~Kari" This provides no context on why we're actually going or where we're supposed to meet.

In American culture, getting a pimple is not a form of divination and offers no insight into your love life. So they localized Jun's rambling in an American way that still captures the key points: It's about Matt, it's about Jun's feelings for Matt, and it's mildly unhinged.

The slap, however, is adjusted. They have Davis make a mean comment to provoke the slap so it comes across as well-earned karma instead of flagrant and unwarranted sibling abuse. The scene is rewritten so that the audience can come away feeling like Davis deserved to get hit just now. There's even a punchline attached to it.

Which is pretty gross when you stop and think about it.

Back in the Digital World, BlackWarGreymon cuts down another Mammon and turns to face the very last.

Suddenly, he notices a single flower on the ground. As the beast charges towards him, its heavy foot threatens to stomp the flower it. BWG dives under the Mammon's foot, using his body to shield the flower.

The heavy creature stomps on his back over and over, but BWG uses his strength to stay up and avoid crushing the flower. Finally, he finds the strength to shove it off.

BlackWarGreymon: GAIA FORCE!!!

BWG's attack obliterates the final Mammon, leaving him alone with the flower. As the haze of battle clears, he finds himself confused.

BlackWarGreymon: Why did I defend this flower? ...such a tiny little flower....

He lingers there, staring at the little pink thing on the ground he has no reason to care for, and yet....

In the dub, he's still talking to them.

BlackWarGreymon: How about you? Do you feel any pain? Mammothmon: HROOOOOOARGH!!! BlackWarGreymon: (sigh) (Mammothmon charges) BlackWarGreymon: What's this? A tiny flower? ...it's right in Mammothmon's path. Guh! (BWG suddenly dives to protect the flower, then pushes Mammothmon off) BlackWarGreymon: TERRA DESTROYER!!! (BWG obliterates Mammothmon) BlackWarGreymon: The flower!? (relieved) Safe. (confused) But why did I care? What difference does it make if there's one more tiny flower in the world or not?

I mean, I don't know why the Mammothmon can't just tell him, "Nah bro, I'm cool." We've clearly established that they're intelligent beings capable of speech, despite how much that breaks the whole concept of BWG's uniqueness.

It's nice that they finally figured out what the tone of this confrontation is supposed to be; It's too bad it took until the very last Mammothmon to get there. Nonetheless, this scene is pretty good. The most significant change is that they have BWG explain his initial feelings towards the flower with words rather than leaving it to his body language and cinematography.

BlackWarGreymon wonders aloud why he protected this flower and then we cut to Ken examining his Crest and answering the question.

Ken: (thinking) Kindness, huh...?

Oh cool, he remembered to pop it back out of the generator before Paildramon reduced the Kaiser's Fortress to rubble. I actually thought that was going to be the last we ever saw of it.

Suddenly, Ken gets an alert on his D-Terminal, which startles him out of his funk.

Ken: What the--?

He opens it up and reads the email out aloud.

Ken: "We wanted to let you know that we've located Arachnemon. I'm sorry if this is intrusive. ~Yagami Hikari." (Ken puts down the D-Terminal) Ken: Thank you. Let's go, Minomon!

That last line from Hikari is interesting for how it conveys the schism that still exists between the team and Ken. We were trying to get Ken to join us in our thing and instead, we've kinda taken over his thing. The revelation of what Arachnemon's doing with the Dark Towers has made hunting her down and kicking her teeth in into the priority.

The word she uses here, what she's apologizing for, is お節介 osekkai. お節介 Osekkai means to do something that you think would be good for another person, but that they did not ask for and may not have wanted you to do.

For instance, coming up to a disabled person unprompted and pushing their wheelchair to help them across the street. They might appreciate the help, or they might feel patronized or freaked out by your impertinence. You mean well but they didn't ask for your help and they might not want it. You should have asked first.

Hikari is still uncomfortable with Ken. He's still not one of us. She doesn't know how he's going to react. We are not email buddies. I mean, Miyako is, but Hikari isn't. So she sends him this message to let him know what they've found, but also apologizes in advance in case this is in some way crossing a boundary of his.

The dub missed that the transition was supposed to be Ken ironically answering BWG's question about why he saved the flower, so we don't get that smash cut from "Why did I do that?" to "Kindness".

Ken: (thinking) What an ironic twist that the Digital World gave me the Crest of Kindness after I've been so cruel.... Ken: Hey, Minomon, I'm getting an email from Kari! (D-Terminal alert chime) Ken: It says, "Sorry to bother you, but we thought you'd like to know that we found Arukenimon. FYI. ~Kari." Do you know what this means? Minomon: Kari spells her name "FYI"? Ken: You missed my point. Let's go, Minomon!

Ken uses a lot of words to say "Kindness, huh?" You can feel him expositing for the kids who've just tuned in for the first time.

Ken tells Minomon about Kari's email before it arrives, so chalk another one up to psychic premonitions.

"Sorry to bother you" is a literal translation of お節介 osekkai that doesn't quite capture the nuance of Kari feeling uncomfortable and uncertain about sending this message. I would have gone with something like, "I know we aren't really on great terms but I wanted to let you know...."

Back in the Digital World, BlackWarGreymon continues to contemplate the little flower.

BlackWarGreymon: You're the opposite of me. Alive, but without any worries or sorrows. I envy all of you. I envy....

Something flips inside BWG. He stomps on the flower himself, grinding its petals into the dirt.

BlackWarGreymon: Why did that hurt to do? It was just a single flower, so why? Where is this distress coming from? My soul? Where is my soul!?

BWG pluralizes "you" when expressing his envy, which means he probably means that sense of envy towards both the flower and the Mammon herd he just slaughtered. He did tell them he envied them too. BWG has envy to go around.

He is very 90's "My black heart burns with infinite sorrow! I can punch a guy into the moon with my limitless violence! If only I could punch my feelings just as hard!" There's a reason he's sometimes compared to Shadow the Hedgehog and is literally being voiced by Wolverine in the dub.

Fun fact, Sonic Adventure 2 came out like four months after this episode.

In the dub:

BlackWarGreymon: You and I are very different. I mean, besides the obvious: You're a little flower and I'm the most powerful Digimon on two worlds. I-I mean, you're alive and I'm just artificial. You have real feelings and I can only imagine it. Like I imagine this pain in my heart! (BWG stomps on the flower) BlackWarGreymon: Why should I care about whether a tiny flower lives or dies!? Who cares!? All I want to know is, where is this empty feeling inside of me coming from, if I'm not a true living creature? Why does my heart ache when the truth is, my heart doesn't even exist. Guhhhhhh!

Abridged Parody-ass monologue. This is what I would have him say if I was trying to satirize this scene. Complete with him just breaking down into angsty throat noises at the end.

"You have real feelings" My guy, it is a flower. It does not have a wide emotional spectrum. The original comparison here was "You are alive and I am not, but I have thoughts and feelings and you do not."

He then steps on the flower and is so wrapped up in his own angst that he completely misses the point of the scene having him step on the flower. In the original, as soon as he does it, he feels anguish and remorse for having done it, forcing him to question why he feels those things.

Dub BWG is like, "Who cares about this stupid, pointless flower scene! Can't you see the burning of my black soul!?!?" He just stops engaging with the scene and starts rambling off Antihero Things to Say.

He also manages to slip in another brag about how cool and badass he is while he's at it.

Arachnemon and Mummymon find their target, pulling up in front of a set of Dark Towers.

It's hard to make out the Holy Stone in the distance, but they're pretty sure they've found the right target.

Arachnemon: That's a Holy Stone? Mummymon: That's right. Arachnemon: Then something interesting should happen if we break it open.

She plucks a few hairs and blows them into the Towers, fusing them together into a new artificial Digimon.

Knightmon is a Perfect-stage Data-attribute Warrior Digimon. Their name's meaning is fairly obvious. They're from the Metal Empire V-Pet, where they were a Perfect evolution for Tankmon and, in the .5 version, Thunderballmon.

Tank to Knight seems like a bit of a downgrade but sure. The card game would later create Gladimon as a more reasonable Adult to lead into Knightmon.

Narrator: Knightmon! Every part of this Perfect-stage Digimon but their eyes are covered in armor made from Chrome Digizoid. Their special attack is Berserk Sword! Arachnemon: Get to work, Knightmon. Destroy that Holy Stone!

As Arachnemon gives the artificial Knightmon its marching orders, we go to commercial. Not the most tense of cliffhangers, since we don't really have any idea what this is or why we should care. Mummymon just introduced this plot point today and all we've been told is that Bad Things Probably will happen if it breaks.

As an aside, it's amazing how much more populous the Dark Towers are becoming now that Arachnemon needs ten at a time. We started at one Tower to a wide region, then the fortress was printing them in a line as it moved, then whole regions had a bunch of them littered all over the map, and now we have like ten Towers practically lying on top of each other.

I feel like the Towers are multiplying. There seem to be more and more of them, the more we knock them down. Like they know they're in danger so they're sending out emergency spores to reproduce more quickly.

In the dub:

Arukenimon: Is that the Digi-Stone? Mummymon: It isn't Plymouth Rock.

It's also not a Destiny Stone, apparently. What the hell is a Digi-Stone? Obvious mistake is an obvious mistake.

Arukenimon: If we destroy it, something interesting might happen. (Arukenimon plucks hairs and blows them at the Control Spires) Arukenimon: SPIRIT NEEDLE!!! (The Spires form into Knightmon) Arukenimon: (rundown) Hello, Knightmon. Don't get him angry, Mummymon, or he'll drive you crazy with his Berserk Sword attack. Arukenimon: Knightmon, I order you to destroy the Destiny Stone!

The dub also takes its second commercial break here.

Explaining the new Digimon to Mummymon is a pretty good way to make the diegetic rundown work. It's a shame they left out the part about Knightmon's Chrome Digizoid armor, though. That this Digimon is near-completely invulnerable is kind of important.

Coming back from commercial, we find BlackWarGreymon back on the road again. Wandering through the wasteland, he suddenly hears an immediately recognizable (to us) voice calling out to him.

Agumon: Finally, there you are. BlackWarGreymon: Hm?

BWG stops In front of him, standing atop a hill to bring him to BWG's level, is Agumon.

Agumon: I've looked all over for you. BlackWarGreymon: Me? ...to fight...? Agumon: Let's try talking, okay? Ahh, but I haven't introduced myself yet. I'm Agumon. When I Warp Evolve to my Ultimate form, I become WarGreymon. BlackWarGreymon: (gasp) Really? Were you made from Dark Towers too? Agumon: No, I was made from a Digitama. BlackWarGreymon: (disappointed sigh) Then we have nothing to discuss.

BWG starts walking again, moving past the little hill Agumon's standing on. But then he thinks of something as he's walking away. He stops.

BlackWarGreymon: No. We can talk.

BWG turns around to face Agumon again.

BlackWarGreymon: But only if you can answer my questions. Agumon: Questions?

Well, we're not off to a great start but Agumon does have his foot in the door. BWG is willing to talk through what's haunting him.

In the dub:

Agumon: Hi! You look familiar. Are you lost or something? BlackWarGreymon: Hm? Me? Agumon: That's right! BlackWarGreymon: Why are you talking to me? Do you want to fight!? Agumon: No! Just being friendly. Allow me to introduce myself. Agumon's my name; Protecting this area is my game. When I Warp Digivolve, I become WarGreymon. BlackWarGreymon: Were you also made from the Control Spires? Agumon: Nah, I came from a Digi-Egg. BlackWarGreymon: Then I have nothing to talk to you about. You couldn't possibly understand me, whether you become WarGreymon or any other real Digimon. (BWG stomps past Agumon) Agumon: But maybe I can help! (BWG stops) BlackWarGreymon: Wait... Maybe I will talk to you. (BWG turns around) BlackWarGreymon: And perhaps you can answer all of the questions that plague me. Agumon: Um... I didn't know there'd be a quiz involved.

In the original, Agumon clearly indicates that he's been searching for BWG and has finally tracked him down. The dub makes this encounter a random coincidence of pure happenstance.

In fact, Dub Agumon clearly indicates that he hasn't even heard of BWG. He greets him as a complete stranger, so I guess Tentomon's done a pretty shit job of keeping the veteran team in the loop.

Over at the Holy Stone, the first of the Chosen Children arrive, following Arachnemon.

Hikari and Daisuke show up on Nefertimon and XV-mon to scout. There, they see Knightmon ever-so-slowly stomping forward to reach the Holy Stone.

Daisuke: (curious) What exactly is that rock...?

Knightmon reaches the Holy Stone and takes out his sword. The stone has a gold ring around it, engraved in DigiCode. Knightmon lifts its sword and starts hacking at part of the ring, which makes a loud clashing sound but doesn't seem to be doing any damage.

As an aside, when Knightmon moves, it make a hydraulic sound in the original. So apparently it's a robot. i guess that makes sense, being from Metal Empire and all. Knightmon's evolution tree puts them shoulder to shoulder with Andromon and MetalGreymon.

Daisuke: What is it doing? Sword practice? XV-mon: But that will just wear down its edge. Hikari: Maybe they're trying to sharpen it instead? Daisuke: Ah, that's gotta be it! Nefertimon: No, that's wrong. I can feel power coming from it. I've heard rumors about what might be this rock: A Holy Stone. Daisuke: Holy Stone...? Hikari: What's that? Nefertimon: I don't know. However, rumor has it that if the Holy Stone ever breaks, then a terrible calamity will descend upon the world. Hikari: Then we have to stop them! Daisuke: Right. We'll go down there. Hikari-chan, you try to get in touch with Takeru and the others.

With the plan made, XV-mon descends towards Knightmon, preparing to fight.

It's not really explained why Hikari and Daisuke are separated from the others; If they invited Ken then they obviously didn't plan on coming alone. They probably got to where Tentomon spotted Arachnemon then split up to search.

Though why Hikari would split from her Jogress partner to chase down Perfects is beyond me.

Also, demonstrating exactly how unseriously they're taking this until Nefertimon clarifies, Hikari has her camera out and is probably taking pictures of Knightmon "sharpening their sword". That's a fun detail.

In the dub:

Davis: What's he doing? Kendo? (Knightmon starts ineffectually chopping at the gold ring) Davis: He'll ruin his sword that way! He'll never cut through that rock. ExVeemon: I saw a knife cut through a can on TV once. Kari: Maybe he's trying to sharpen his sword on the rock. Davis: Yeah, that's it! Nefertimon: No, it isn't. Davis: Aww.... Nefertimon: I feel a great power coming from the rock. It might be the Destiny Stone I've heard legend tell about.

No, that's the Digi-Stone. The Destiny Stone is a quarter mile down yonder. But it's okay; People often get them mixed up.

Davis: Destiny Stones? Is that anything like a kidney stone? Nefertimon: No, but it could be just as painful. According to rumor, if the Destiny Stone is destroyed then something terrible will happen to the Digi-World. Kari: Oh no! Let's stop--! Davis: Right! We'll go down there. Kari, you gotta let the others know and meet us as soon as possible.

The dub can't make up its mind if Destiny Stone is singular or plural. Also, I think they accidentally cut a word off of Kari's last line; Davis doesn't interrupt her, she just suddenly stops sharply without completing the sentence.

Apart from the errors, this is pretty good. I like Davis going "Awww" when Nefertimon corrects him and Kari.

And for those unaware in this, our year of streaming services 2025, ExVeemon is talking about Ginsu knives. These ads were all over the place in the 80's and 90's, and everyone was cracking jokes about them. They were in sitcoms, stand-up comedy, the works. You could, as he does, just say "cut through a can" or "cut through a shoe" and everyone got it.

Returning to Agumon, he is trying his best to answer BlackWarGreymon's very difficult existential questions.

With his claws over his chest, he says,

Agumon: I think it's here....

Then he stops and grips his head.

Agumon: No, maybe here?

He puts his claws down and comes clean.

Agumon: Sorry, I don't really know where my soul is. BlackWarGreymon: You're a living creature and you still don't know? Is there really even such a thing as a soul? Could it just be an illusion!? Agumon: IT'S NOT AN ILLUSION!!!

Agumon flashes back on a still image of Taichi giving him a hug.

Agumon (V.O.): Caring about someone else, believing in them, those feelings could never be an illusion!

BWG really upset Agumon with that line of questioning. Though he's not that far off the mark. He's not supposed to have a soul but he still has these feelings, and Agumon has these feelings but couldn't for the life of him explain where the soul they're coming from is. He's circling the topic that he and Agumon may not be such different things after all.

Poor Agumon gets really tripped up by the verbage of 心 kokoro. Since the word means your heart, his first instinct is that it's contained in his chest. But since it means thoughts and feelings and identity and stuff generally associated with the brain, he reconsiders and tries there. But that doesn't sound right to him either.

In the dub:

(Agumon puts his claws to his chest) Agumon: Hmm, it may be right here.... (Agumon moves his claws to his head) Agumon: But then again.... (Agumon puts his claws down) Agumon: Oh, I'm not sure. I'm sorry I'm not more help to you but no one's ever asked me before where my heart is. BlackWarGreymon: Strange. You claim to be alive and yet you don't know where your heart is. Maybe it doesn't really exist. Maybe the heart is just an illusion. Agumon: It's not an illusion! (Flashback) Agumon (V.O.): When you really care about someone more than you care about yourself, it's called love. And I know it comes from the heart. I just don't know where it is!

Oh, that "heart" confusion is really tripping up this version of the conversation. Like his Japanese counterpart, Dub Agumon also can't decide whether his heart is in his chest or not. Which, in an English context divorced from the Japanese meaning of the word, is just a crazy thing to say. It's in your chest, Agumon. What are you talking about?

There is no ambiguity in English about what part of your body the heart occupies. It's in your chest. It pumps your blood.

There is still a metaphorical sense of the heart as the thing that fuels your sense of compassion and love, but if pressed on where that heart is, we'd still say it's the organ pumping your blood. "Heart" can have multiple meanings in English but is not different things.

When you say someone's "thinking from the heart instead of the brain", for example, you would still point to their chest and head. In English, you can also think from your genitals! So that's a fun fact. We're fucking hiveminds in this language.

"You claim to be alive" is also an odd thing to say but that one does make sense. Agumon is alive, but it's not like he just walked up and went "Hey there, my dude, I'm an alive person unlike you!" But he did say he was born from a Digi-Egg so, in a sense, he has claimed to be alive during this conversation.

Taking Agumon's answer, BlackWarGreymon presses further.

BlackWarGreymon: Then tell me this: What purpose does the soul serve? Agumon: It's what makes Digimon Digimon and what makes humans human. BlackWarGreymon: But I'm only a lifeless object. So why do I have a soul?

That one's hard. Agumon scratches his head, stumbling for an answer.

Agumon: These questions are really hard. I'm not good at stuff like this... Let's see... It's because.... BlackWarGreymon: It's because...? Agumon: Sorry, can you repeat the question?

Agumon's response is so bad that it strikes BWG silent. The only sound is the rustling of the wind and the comical sound of a tin can rattling around in it.

Yeah, existential questions are hard and it's made worse by the fact that Agumon isn't one of the great thinkers on this team. Remember that time he tried to inhale an entire fish that was three times his size and then choked? Good times.

The WarGreymon symmetry is neat but we really should have sent. Like. Anyone else. Preferably Koushiro but when it comes to theoretical academia, literally anyone would be an improvement over Agumon. He's got a big heart and a determination to give it his all and protect his Partner, but he's also unapologetically the Team Dumbass. This is way outside his wheelhouse.

In the dub:

BlackWarGreymon: Interesting. Then let me ask you this: Why do you have a heart? Agumon: I don't know why. I just do, that's all! Humans have them and so do Digimon. BlackWarGreymon: But I'm a different kind of Digimon made from Control Spires. Does that mean I have a heart too, or was I created without one? Agumon: Hmm... These are all very good questions that I'd love to answer for you, but I'm not very good at this kind of stuff. Could you repeat the question? BlackWarGreymon: I'm not sure I remember what I asked anymore. Agumon: Hmm... Then we're both confused. Let's forget the whole thing and grab a bite! BlackWarGreymon: I'm sorry. I need more answers.

The "heart in an English context" thing works a lot better here. This part of the conversation gels with the American conception of the heart.

Something I've been thinking on is that Wolverine's voice can't really capture the existential confusion and despair of the character very well. Especially with all the boasting he's doing, his tone in this chat with Agumon doesn't feel like a lost soul looking for answers. He sounds smug and self-assured, like a Debate Bro trying to catch Agumon in a Gacha.

He lacks the vulnerability that the original BWG is conveying with every word.

Also, what do you mean, you forgot the question!? I guess it wasn't very fucking important then, was it!? Really not doing a good job of selling the idea that BWG's entire sense of identity and self-worth hinges on the answers Agumon's trying to provide.

(Bee Dou-Ble-You Gee, god that's actually a syllable LONGER than BlackWarGreymon to say out loud. I hate the letter W.)

Back at the Holy Stone, XV-mon meets Knightmon in battle.

Knightmon swings a predictable overhead chop down at XV-mon, who catches the blade between his hands. It takes both hands to hold the sword up and keep it from his head, but XV-mon sticks it out.

Daisuke: You can do this, XV-mon!

Knightmon takes his right hand off the sword, gripping it with only the left. He reaches over and draws a second sword from his belt, preparing to deliver the lethal--

Pegasmon: SILVER BLAZE!!!

A surprise attack from above nails Knightmon squarely on his Chrome Digizoid helmet. The armor holds, of course, but the force of impact knocks him back, taking his sword with him.

Behind Daisuke, the rest of the team's gathered with Aquilamon, Pegasmon, and Ankylomon backing him and Hikari's Nefertimon up.

Takeru: DAISUKE-KUN!!! Iori: REINFORCEMENTS ARE HERE!!!

Unfortunately, Arachnemon and Mummymon join the fray as well. Their attacks don't hit anyone, but they force the team to scatter to avoid them.

Mummymon: This is a plan I came up with! I won't stand for interference.

Honestly, even if Ken gets here and we Jogress, two Perfects against three is still bad odds.

In the dub, Knightmon calls his attack.

Knightmon: BERSERK SWORD!!! (ExVeemon catches Knightmon's sword between his hands) Davis: Come on, ExVeemon! You can do it! ExVeemon: Don't worry, Davis! As long as he doesn't have another sword, I'm fine! (Knightmon draws the other sword) ExVeemon: Uh-oh! Pegasusmon: EQUUS BEAM!!! (Pegasusmon knocks Knightmon over) T.K.: Nice shot! Kari: Look out! It's an ambush! Mummymon: SNAKE BANDAGE!!! Arukenimon: SPIDER THREAD!!! (Their attacks scatter the DigiDestined) Mummymon: I'm warning you for the first and last time: Don't interfere!

The delivery on the "As long as he doesn't have another sword" gag is rushed on account of having to fit it into the span of time when ExVeemon's mouth isn't onscreen. But it's still funny.

We return to BWG and Agumon as the sun is going down. Reds and oranges illuminate the evening air. BWG has popped a squat since last we saw him so he's no longer towering over Agumon.

BlackWarGreymon: I'm not alive. My being isn't that of a living creature. What do I gain from having a soul? Agumon: Gain? Oh, I know! Peers! BlackWarGreymon: Peers? Agumon: That's right. If you have a soul, then you aren't just a thing anymore. You're a living creature just like us! That means we can be peers. BlackWarGreymon: Peers... What else? Is there nothing more for me to gain than that? Agumon: Anything else.... What more could you possibly want? BlackWarGreymon: I don't know. Agumon: You "don't know", huh? BlackWarGreymon: It's not anything like peers. Of course, it's not fame or money or anything like that. It's more important than that...

This is a place where it can be tempting to translate 仲間 nakama as "friends", but that's not quite what Agumon is saying. BWG's soul doesn't guarantee him friends.

仲間 Nakama is a group of people connected by a shared activity or goal. Agumon is saying that by having 心 kokoro, BWG has a common experience with other people. He is the same as them, and can find common cause and acceptance with other people who share that trait in common with him.

Which isn't not saying "You could make friends" but isn't exactly saying that either.

What's really interesting in BWG's body language is the way he sags his shoulders and slumps down when he asks what else he can get. He's as disappointed as anyone else to find out that answer doesn't satisfy him. He and Agumon are colleagues in the search for his soul right now.

In the dub:

BlackWarGreymon: But you see, I'm not alive. I'm just a-a-a thing! Why would I possibly have any use for a heart in the first place? Agumon: Good point. ...hey! You could be a friend! BlackWarGreymon: A friend? Agumon: Yeah! You see, if you care about me then we're friends. And if we're friends then you have a heart! You can't have one without the other. Look at me! I've got lots of friends! BlackWarGreymon: What if I'm not capable of being a friend? That would prove once and for all if I have a heart or not. Agumon: Of course you're capable. Everybody's capable of being someone's friend. BlackWarGreymon: But what if-- Agumon: "What if?" Always with the What Ifs! What if my aunt had a moustache? She'd be my uncle! BlackWarGreymon: She would? Your logic confuses me.

Me too. Some women have facial hair, Agumon. Not even trans women necessarily; Some cis women have to shave their faces too. Biology does not neatly conform to modern gendered beauty standards.

In any case, we already had one word that commonly trips up localizers and now we just threw 仲間 nakama in there too. We are way off-script trying to make sense of all these hearts and friendships.

Well, not that far off-script, actually. The big thing that throws this section is actually Dub BWG's unwillingness to be vulnerable. Agumon actually calls him out for what a fucking Debate Bro he's being about this hearts and friendship stuff.

Original BWG is seriously considering Agumon's words and trying his best to find himself. Dub BWG is trying to vanquish Agumon in the Arena of Logic.

Finally, BWG suddenly hits upon his answer. What he really wants, what he's searching for.

BlackWarGreymon: That's it! A reason why I should exist. Agumon: A reason why you should exist...? BlackWarGreymon: That's right! What can I do in this world? No, what should I do!?

BlackWarGreymon raises his Dramon Killer on his right hand, inspecting the blades carefully.

BlackWarGreymon: If it's fighting strong opponents, then so be it! I can dedicate myself to fighting and defeating my enemies!

He briefly flashes back on the flower. He remembers shielding it with his body while Mammon stomped on him.

BlackWarGreymon: But... If having a soul gets in the way of my fighting....

Then he flashes back to stomping the flower into oblivion.

BlackWarGreymon: ...then I'll cast my soul away! Agumon: W-What-- NO!!! You can't throw away your soul!

I love how much that last line takes Agumon by surprise. He was not reading the room for this entire section of the conversation. BWG was very obviously telegraphing that he was building to this.

In the dub:

BlackWarGreymon: How is friendship supposed to feel, or does it just happen? At any rate, it certainly hasn't made me feel any better. Agumon: That's 'cause we just met. Give it time! BlackWarGreymon: Time? I've given you time to answer all of my questions and you haven't answered one yet. (BWG inspects his Dramon Destroyers) BlackWarGreymon: I should just destroy you and move on. It seems to be my purpose in life and if that's so, then so be it. I will dedicate myself to being the most powerful. (Flashback to defending the flower) BlackWarGreymon: (gasp) ...but I have to know if that is my true destiny or if there's something more for me in this world than just fighting. You know, like a reason why I'm here. (Flashback to BWG crushing the flower) BlackWarGreymon: For some, it's money. Others, power. And for you, perhaps, friendship. But I have to know the reason why I was created. Agumon: Snap out of it! Boy, are you a serious guy!

BWG knows the reason why he was created; Arukenimon has been very clear about that. He just doesn't define that as his purpose in life. Not so much the wrong sentiment as the wrong way to phrase it.

Dub BWG eventually stops putting on airs and meanders back to the script but by that point the flashback sequence has already begun. They rope the first flashback in pretty well, as it startles him out of his seeming conviction to being strong. But then the flashback of him crushing the flower is completely out-of-place and doesn't connect at all to what he's saying.

All of this means we never get to "I'll cast my soul away" which leaves Agumon vamping for his final line. He'll have his next scene to try and catch up on it, but that has consequences for that scene.

Back at the Holy Stone, the fight has gone about as bad as five Adults against three Perfects reasonably would.

Mummymon: TAKE THIS!!!

Mummymon and Arachnemon ensnare XV-mon and Aquilamon in their Snake Bandage and Spider Thread, respectively.

Arachnemon: Uhuhuhuhuhuhuhu! Aquilamon: Can't... Move....

Trying to turn the tide, Nefertimon returns her Digimental to Hikari and reverts to Tailmon.

Tailmon: Aquilamon! Jogress!

Unfortunately, Arachnemon has two hands. Tailmon races to join Aquilamon, but barely even makes it two steps before Arachnemon wraps her up in Spider Thread as well.

In the dub, Mummymon calls his attack, though Arukenimon still doesn't call either of hers.

Mummymon: Hehe, SNAKE BANDAGE!!! (Mummymon and Arukenimon snare ExVeemon and Aquilamon) Mummymon: That's a wrap! Arukenimon: Ahahahaha! (Nefertimon reverts to Gatomon) Gatomon: Aquilamon! Arukenimon: Ah-ah-ah! (Arukenimon snares Gatomon)

Gatomon doesn't shout "DNA Digivolve!" when she runs towards Aquilamon. This omission makes the action here confusing. If she's going to try and save Aquilamon or something, why did she power down?

The reason she powered down is because she needs to be in her natural Adult form to Jogress, but without that context, it's jarringly self-defeating.

Over on the other side of the fight, it's not going any better.

Knightmon raises his sword to finish off a downed Pegasmon. Ankylomon charges in to back him up.

Ankylomon: My body can't be cut with a sword!

Knightmon slowly and awkwardly rotates, then brings his blade down on Ankylomon's head. He stabs down over and over, jamming the tip of his blade into Ankylomon's armored helm. He can't break through, but he does bring Ankylomon to the ground from the force of his attacks and keep him pinned.

Ankylomon: That's not fair! Swords aren't made for bashing....

Unfortunately, Ankylomon's cultural myopia is showing. Japanese swords might not be, but that's a European broadsword. It's basically a club designed with a narrow point of impact. A splitting wedge to be driven in by the force of the swing. Closer to an axe than a katana.

With the team incapacitated, it's time to move in for the kill.

Daisuke: XV-mon! Mummymon: Ehehehe.... Let's tighten it up!

Mummymon constricts his Snake Bandages, cutting off XV-mon's air. Slowly but surely choking him out.

In the dub:

Ankylomon: That sword won't be any use against my hard shell! (Knightmon bashes Ankylomon over and over) Ankylomon: Ow! Ow! That smarts! I guess my shell's not as strong as I thought.... (Everyone is incapacitated) Davis: Come on! Bust loose! Mummymon: Ha! This is more fun than fishing!

A shot of the bandages constricting around ExVeemon's neck is cut despite not being any more graphic than the previous shot of them snaring him to begin with. It's really only Mummymon's use of the verb 締め shime that conveys that they're even getting tighter.

With the team thoroughly incapacitated, things look bleak right now. Fortunately, hope picks that moment to arrive.

Stingmon: SPIKING FINISH!!!

Tuxedo Kamen Rider over here comes in with the surprise attack, severing the bandages binding XV-mon. Not missing a beat, XV-mon follows up.

XV-mon: X LASER!!!

His shot hits Arachnemon square in her face, momentarily stunning her and releasing Aquilamon and Tailmon.

Ken arrives on foot a short time later.

Daisuke: YES!!! Miyako: Ken-kun! Ken: Sorry I'm late! Tailmon: DO IT NOW, EVERYONE!!!

Stingmon's bought us a moment of breathing room but it's only a moment. Seizing the opportunity, four out of six team members Jogress to form Paildramon and Sylphimon.

In the dub:

Stingmon: Having a party without me!? SPIKING STRIKE!!! (Stingmon cuts ExVeemon free) ExVeemon: VEE LASER!!! (ExVeemon slaps and disorients Arukenimon) Davis: Way to go! Yolei: It's Ken! Ken: Sorry I'm late, everyone! Gatomon: We're down to the last of our nine lives!

It's Ken!

That's not anything worth bringing up. I just always have fun picking out the extra word they had to add to compensate for an honorific's extra lip flap. I've got nothing to add here.

Fresh from his Jogress, Paildramon opens fire on Knightmon.

Paildramon: DESPERADO BLASTER!!!

Paildramon's shots can't penetrate Knightmon's Chrome Digizoid armor, but the force of them send Knightmon staggering backwards. This gives Ankylomon a chance to get back up and lunge.

Ankylomon: MEGATON PRESS!!!

Ankylomon's follower-up attack knocks the off-balance Knightmon all the way over onto his back... with a weird fadeout to black between the hit and the subsequent shot of Ankylomon jumping up and down on Knightmon's chest.

Ankylomon: How do you like that!? A bashing attack for a bashing attack! Iori: YES!!! KEEP IT UP, ANKYLOMON!!!

Ankylomon's learned a lesson about combat tactics from this, uh... mindless automaton.

...

That's kind of embarrassing, actually.

In the dub, Ankylomon does not call his attack.

Paildramon: DESPERADO BLASTER!!! (Paildramon knocks Knightmon back) Ankylomon: Payback time! (Ankylomon knocks Knightmon down and jumps on him) Ankylomon: It's not so much fun when you're on the bottom! Cody: Now that's what I call kicking the can!

Solid. Incidentally, if you're wondering what Sylphimon/Silphymon is doing....

So anyways, Agumon and BlackWarGreymon were having an important discussion, right?

Agumon: You can't do that! You can't just throw away your soul. That you even have a soul can't just be an accident. And besides, throwing away your soul just to fight would be ridiculous! I think you and I could become friends... No, I'm certain that this is why you have a soul. BlackWarGreymon: ...can you prove it?

In the sky above and behind BWG, a red star twinkles brightly. Neither he nor Agumon seem to notice.

Agumon: I'll show you. It might take a little time, though.

As he speaks, Agumon holds out his right claw in friendship. BlackWarGreymon gasps with surprise. For a moment, he and BWG stare at each other in silence as the opening notes of the original OVA theme begin to play.

Then, ever so slowly, ever so hesitantly... BlackWarGreymon raises his right hand and reaches for Agumon's.

A linguistic note here before we move to the dub but this is, again, why I implore people not to translate 仲間 nakama as "friendship". In this moment, Agumon steps up his offer.

Before, he told BWG that he could find fellowship and community with others. That didn't go over well. Here, Agumon offers him 友達 tomodachi, which is the actual word for friendship, and that is what touches BWG so much where the previous offer hadn't.

In the dub:

Agumon: No way! You can't throw your heart away! BlackWarGreymon: But if what you say is true and I have a heart then it is clearly interfering with my fighting. And I can't reach my full fighting potential until I throw my heart away. Agumon: Fighting is important but it's not everything. You need to trust me as your friend before you can find your heart. BlackWarGreymon: Very well! I will be your friend in order to prove if my heart exists. But if it doesn't, I will be forced to destroy you. Agumon: Thanks for the warning! By the way, it's customary to shake hands with a new friend! (Agumon raises his right claw) BlackWarGreymon: Hm. Shake... hands...? (BWG contemplates his hand for a moment, then very slowly reaches for Agumon's)

As noted Agumon doesn't get to deliver his speech here because the dub is playing catch-up for the parts of the last scene that couldn't make the cut.

Fortunately, he doesn't need the speech anyway because Dub BWG immediately accepts his friendship without an ounce of hesitation. The part where he's supposed to be hesitating is instead reframed as him dumbfoundedly struggling with a physical gesture. Which. Uh. Sucks? Yeah, sucks. That just sucks.

How's that fight going, by the way?

Oh, terribly! It's going terribly!

Paildramon: DESPERADO BLASTER!!! Sylphimon: TOP GUN!!!

There we go, now Sylphimon's participating. Ankylomon had his fun but there was no way he was going to hold a Perfect down for good. We sadly missed Knightmon suddenly flinging him into something funny like the horizon or Daisuke.

Paildramon and Sylphimon both let off their best shots, but invulnerable Chrome Digizoid is still invulnerable Chrome Digizoid. Knightmon weathers both attacks and swings his sword. Paildramon and Sylphimon dart out of the way, but the blade hits home on the Holy Stone's gold ring and finally breaks it.

I want to call that a Holy Ring but I'm not 100% sure if it's the same kind of thing or not. Doesn't matter now; It's destroyed anyway.

In the dub, Knightmon calls his attack too.

Paildramon: DESPERADO BLASTER!!! Sylphimon: STATIC FORCE!!! (No effect) Knightmon: BERSERK SWORD!!! (Ring smash) Mummymon: He's breaking the Destiny Stone!

Thanks, Mummymon. I wouldn't have understood that if you hadn't explained it.

When the ring around the Holy Stone breaks, the stone suddenly emits a sharp red glow. Before BlackWarGreymon can shake Agumon's hand, he flinches, wincing in pain.

Agumon: Wh-What's wrong!? BlackWarGreymon: Pain... Something's... hurting me....

Back at the Stone, it pulses red. Over and over again, it pulses.

Daisuke: What's happening? Sylphimon (Tailmon): Something strange is happening to the Holy Stone!

As the Holy Stone continues to pulse, BlackWarGreymon grabs his head, writhing in agony. Finally, he lets out a bloodcurdling scream and then flies into the air, leaving Agumon behind.

Agumon: Where are you going!? WAIT!!!

But it's too late. BlackWarGreymon is gone. Agumon is left in silence; The camera lingering on an expression of heartbreaking grief for what very nearly almost was.

In the dub:

Agumon: Huh? You... okay...? BlackWarGreymon: The pain... It's getting worse... Something's hurting me! (Destiny Stone pulses) Davis: Whoa! What happened!? Paildramon: There's something wrong with the Destiny Stone! (BWG screams and then flies off) Agumon: Where are you going!? I was gonna make S'mores! Come back!

After delivering a much more casual version of Agumon's line, they cut the shot of him looking distraught. I guess that makes sense, given that in this version, BWG is just some random guy he ran into by chance so it's not like he really cares.

The dub then takes its third commercial break here.

When we return to the Holy Stone, Arachnemon's team is now fully committed to the Stone's destruction.

Mummymon: SHIT!!!!

Mummymon blasts the Holy Stone with his gun. The artificial Knightmon continues to wail on the Stone with its sword.

Arachnemon: Our attacks aren't having any effect at all! Mummymon, are you sure you did your research on this!? Mummymon: Uhh... Agh, damn it! And I thought it was such a great plan, too! Arachnemon: Really!?

All the way here only to run headfirst into the brick wall of "I have no idea what I'm even supposed to do with it."

If you're wondering why the Chosen Children have just fucked off and are now hanging out watching them do this? Well, you see....

I mean, let's be real. The villains hang out and let them have heartfelt emotional moments with each other mid-battle all the time. It's only fair to return the favor once in a while. Mummymon called a timeout to see if they can break the Stone some more, so we're taking a snack break with an I-Mart bag just offscreen.

In the dub:

Mummymon: Muwahaha! SNAKE BANDAGE!!! (Mummymon blasts the Destiny Stone) (Knightmon bashes the Destiny Stone) Arukenimon: His attacks just aren't doing a thing. Mummymon, we need to come up with a new plan of action! Mummymon: You mean... Uselessly pounding away on this rock isn't a good plan? Arukenimon: Go figure!

Just a hint of localizer snark criticizing the episode slipping into the dialogue there. In their defense, spending half the episode hitting a rock with a sword is hardly the most interesting Digimon plot we've ever seen.

Especially since we still don't really know what the fuck this even is or why we care. Even the villains don't really know why we're fighting about this. The writers plopped a MacGuffin down in the middle of the story and both sides just shrugged and went along with it. Severe "I guess we're doing this now" energy.

Suddenly, Arachnemon sees something in the sky. A mass of dark clouds moving in their direction at a rapid pace.

Arachnemon: BlackWarGreymon!? Mummymon, fall back at once! Mummymon: Yes, ma'am!

Leaving Knightmon behind because nobody gives a shit about an artificial life, Arachnemon and Mummymon clear out as fast as their legs will carry them.

Daisuke: What's with them? Miyako: They realized they couldn't compete with us so they fled. Ken: No, that's not it!

Ken is the first of the children to see the black mass moving towards them. The figure at the front of it slowly coming into view.

Hikari: (frightened) BlackWarGreymon!

You thought I was joking about that snack break and to an extent I was but no. The Chosen Children really are just standing offscreen watching the villains go to town on the Holy Stone. Everybody here is getting an F in Chosen Child-ing.

The parts of this episode that aren't about BWG are very badly written.

In the dub:

Arukenimon: It's BlackWarGreymon! Let's split! I can't deal. (Arukenimon and Mummymon flee) Yolei: They sure seemed to be in a hurry. Davis: How come? Yolei: They must realize it's useless to fight us. (Sharp banging noise causes Ken to look) Ken: Ah! Tell him! (BlackWarGreymon emerges from dark clouds) Kari: It's BlackWarGreymon!

In the original, Ken just happens to glance over in that direction and spot the clouds. The dub gives him a loud explosion sound to pull his attention that direction. Though I'm not super clear on what part of the cloud just exploded.

It's too late to run now. BlackWarGreymon is upon us before anyone knows what's happening.

As BWG comes in, Knightmon turns and raises its sword to meet the challenger. BWG doesn't even bother swinging; He rams the horn on his helmet right into Knightmon, instantly obliterating the false Digimon, and lands in front of the Holy Stone.

Daisuke: What!? Miyako: In just a second.... BlackWarGreymon: GAIA FORCE!!!

BWG hits the Stone with his attack and this time it bends to the assault. His Gaia Force causes a crack to spread across its surface.

Sylphimon: This is bad! Paildramon: We have to stop him!

The four Partner Digimon rush BWG all at once.

BlackWarGreymon: GAIA FORCE!!!

Not missing a beat, he turns and whips one of his attacks their way. It's an instant TPK, reducing the entire team to six vanquished Digimon in their Child or Baby states. Miyako hurries to her Partner's side while Daisuke and Ken stare in stunned shock.

Miyako: PURURUMON!!! Daisuke: It can't be.... Ken: We really are no match for him....

BWG made that clear enough last time he party-wiped us but this time was confirmation. We just are not capable of competing in his ballpark.

In the dub, BlackWarGreymon calls an attack as he annihilates Knightmon.

BlackWarGreymon: MEGA DESTROYER!!! (BWG rams Knightmon for the kill) Davis: Oh no! Yolei: Do you think he's on our side? BlackWarGreymon: TERRA DESTROYER!!! (BWG hits the Destiny Stone, cracking it) Silphymon: The Destiny Stone! Paildramon: He'll destroy it! (The Digimon rush BWG) BlackWarGreymon: TERRA DESTROYER!!! (BWG party-wipes the team) Yolei: POROMON!!! Davis: He crushed them! Ken: We're just no match for him....

Yolei uses the wrong name for her Partner. Due to the panning of the screen, we don't see half the team revert. But we can see that Sylphimon/Silphymon degrades all the way to Child-stage Plotmon/Salamon and Baby I-stage Pururumon. This is consistent with the established mechanics for Jogress.

We'll see Pururumon again in another shot as well, so there's really no excuse for this error.

BlackWarGreymon hesitates a moment. Just... watching the defeated Digimon. Watching Hikari and Miyako run to their partners while the boys hang back. Because gender, I guess.

For about 3-4 seconds, he just watches them. Then he turns back to the Stone and resumes his work.

BlackWarGreymon: GAIA FORCE!!!

His second hit breaks a chunk off of the cracked Stone.

Iori: It's breaking! BlackWarGreymon: GAIA FORCE!!!

With the third hit, it explodes. The Holy Stone's destruction creates a tornado that reaches up into a swirling mass of black clouds. The Children feel themselves being pulled towards it.

Daisuke: Nrrgh! I-It's pulling us in! Takeru: EVERYBODY RUN!!!

But BlackWarGreymon, powerful as ever, stands there right in front of the vortex, unaffected by its pull. Silently, he stares into it.

Back at their car, Arachnemon and Mummymon enjoy the chaos.

Mummymon: Ohoho! Hahahaha! I never imagined anything of this magnitude! Arachnemon: ...is he going to help us with our plan, even though we haven't given him any orders?

Turns out he is! In a very "We're going the same direction" sort of way.

BlackWarGreymon: Is this the reason that I exist?

Convinced that he's found his destiny, BWG shoots that question into the swirling vortex of doom and destruction. No answer comes, and we close here on this moment of utter defeat.

In the dub, Yolei assumes that BWG's hesitation is him contemplating finishing them off.

Yolei: Don't do it BlackWarGreymon! (BWG hesitates, then slowly turns back to the rock) BlackWarGreymon: ...TERRA DESTROYER!!! (BWG damages the Destiny Stone) Cody: It's cracked! BlackWarGreymon: TERRA DESTROYER!!! (BWG destroys the Destiny Stone) Ken: We're gonna get sucked in! T.K.: RUN, EVERYONE, BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!! (Arukenimon and Mummymon watch from a distance) Mummymon: Hoho! I guess this means the rumors are true! One Destiny Stone destroyed, one Digi-World demolished. Check please! Arukenimon: And just think, I didn't even have to order that emotionally-challenged BlackWarGreymon to destroy it for us. He helped us out all on his own. (BWG stares into the abyss. The abyss stares back) BlackWarGreymon: Could destroying the Destiny Stone... be my destiny...? Narrator: Is this the end of the Digital World? Will BlackWarGreymon find his heart? Find out next time on Digimon: Digital Monsters.

I'm confident in learning the answer to one of those but not so confident about the other.

Assessment: This one's a really mixed bag. Its highs are pretty high and its lows are low. Half of this episode is really interesting character work for BlackWarGreymon, especially his talk with Agumon. Agumon goes a long way towards helping BWG develop emotionally. Giving him a chance to really put words to his feelings and his existential despair in a way that's difficult to do without someone to really converse with.

And the other half is spent hitting a rock with a sword, hoping the plot will eventually emerge from it. It does but it's still kinda boring getting there.

More than they ever have before, the Chosen Children feel like they're all just here to cash a paycheck. They have next to nothing to do with the story nor much of any development for themselves. They're here out of obligation because they're the main characters, but it's strictly BlackWarGreymon's episode, with Mummymon driving the plot.

That the Chosen Children are even here at all even creates a weird gap in the narrative where the story clearly didn't plan for them to be present and has to ignore them in order to work.

But now it's done. We are in the thick of the Holy Stone sub-arc and we've gotten this very important conversation for BlackWarGreymon out of the way.

[ducktollers]

also currently thinking abt it cuz there was a tarantula on b99. i wish i liked tarantulas. i should love them in theory theyre just fluffy crawly guys. and yet they and all spiders scare the living shit out of me WHY. why do i like insects but not spiders. every time it came up in my uni classes ppl thought it was weird bc insect people are usually also spider people. i love snakes and insects i should love spiders too but i hate them WHY IS THAT

[butchhamlet]

this is sooo funny to me because im a comedy girlie at heart and ive had shakespeare related beef with kenneth branagh since much ado. emma thompson does her very best but kenbran manages to make so much of that play boring. he makes benedick boring. i think he just doesnt understand that shakespeare doesnt have to be Serious. and for that i want to hit him with hammers

i saw his much ado in high school and i remember liking it a decent amount but i haven't seen many versions to compare it with and also this was like six years ago now. crazy. i WILL say i think he is a better benedick than he is hamlet, but that's not because of anything he's doing; it's because you can make benedick boring but you cannot actually take ALL the silly out of that role no matter what you do. whereas with hamlet... someone in the comments of my liveblog said "his hamlet is what people who hate shakespeare think shakespeare is" and that's literally it. he's the strawman boring shakespeare image in people's mind's eye

[neganium]

Guess whose Womb Escape Day™ it is??

That's right, it's me!! I'm the Birthday Bitch!!!

[moongothic]

You know I realize I forgot to mention this before in the Crocodile Power Level Speculation Post/Ask (btw I did go back to edit it so it's actually legible and has a point now lmao)

I really wanna know if Croc has any new tricks with his hook

Like in Alabasta the dude had a poison hook under his regular hook, which was also hiding a tiny blade beneath it as well. This is all fine and dandy, absolutely iconic etc etc

And then we never see him reuse either feature again.

Now to be fair, the only other time we could've seen Crocodile use them would've been in Marineford, but the dude just escaped from prison. Although people are quick to meme about the Marines being 'kind enough' to let Crocodile keep his gigantic fucking hook in prison-- If we're being realistic here, they probably let him keep the base of the hook simply because without a hand any shackle would just slide off his wrist and fall off. Of course he wouldn't still be able to escape or anything since he'd still have the Seastone cuff on his right, but if they wanted to keep him properly shackled then letting him keep even just the hook base would just be the easiest option for the Marines.

It's the fact that the Marines went out of their way to retrieve his missing hook attachment and gave it back to him that's a bit wild

But let's keep in mind that Luffy did break the poison hook back in Alabasta. Even if the Marines let Croc keep the hook attachment, I find it extremely unlikely they would've gone out of their way to fix/replaced the poison hook when the guy's going to jail anyways. If anything it'd make far more sense if they got rid of whatever poison might've still been left in the base and confiscated the blade. Like there's an argument to be made for the Marines letting Crocodile keep his hook due to disability reasons, but the poison and the purely stabby weapon? Not so much

So really, it's very likely the reason Crocodile never used his other weapons in Marineford might've just been that he literally didn't have them on him at the time, just the basic hook

But hey, it's been two whole whooping years. That would be plenty of time for him to replace the broken hook and blade and get some new poison into the hook base too while he's at it

Or

Are there any new weapons Crocodile could've gotten inserted into his hook base that he could whip out

Like just because he could get a new poison hook it doesn't mean he has to get a poison hook, same for the blade as well, right

To be fair, dude feels very old fashioned so I'm not expecting any Inspector Gadget kinda tech from him. Like I don't think Crocodile's knowledgeable about stuff like that himself, at least not enough to install any technically advanced weaponry into the hook on his own, and IDK if he'd trust his hook with anyone to "upgrade it" either for an extended period of time either

But could you imagine if Croc had gotten access to a busted ass Pacifista and stole a laser and had it built into his hook base. He just pulls of the hook and starts blasting people with the laser. How fucking funny would that be. Franky eat your heart out

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

every time u reblog those paintings of coloured squares and rectangles I get so happy

“yay yippee” <- me

omg i’m SO glad u like them i love rothkos sm they make me so happy i’m so glad you like them too!!!

[ourladyoftheflytrap]

Mom called me a shitty roommate today bc after months of her telling me to rent a uhaul (too young to do so) and then flaking out on me whenever I asked her if we could it on x day, I gave up on trying to get my bf's heavy TV and dresser and ordered a mountable tv, instead of buying more storage totes so that I could add to the ever increasing stack of totes in our guest bedroom

[hauntingblue]

BACK TO ONE PIECE LETSGOOOOO

[sodacowboy]

so many weird dreams and I can’t even remember like half of them

[dravidious]

You're more amazing than face-down cards

White commons! Enchantments aplenty!

To be clear, the cards with capitalized names are existing cards that I'm using as reprints. Some, like Karametra's Blessing, will get new names eventually.

Also, using Elemental as a creature type was mostly just a placeholder, and now that I'm settling on the flavor I'm looking for a better subtype. The flavor is that they're spawned from human emotion, like faith, hope, or devotion for the enchantments, or passion or creativity for the artifacts. I scrolled through the creature types, but none really stuck out to me as a solid fit. The best I could come up with was spirit, but I figured I'd ask for ideas before committing to changing every instance of the Elemental type. I could even go with a totally new subtype, but I couldn't think of any good names.

[milo-igidk]

have i mentioned lately that i fucking hate the council